Next Steps..

by Marie
(New Jersey)

I am the oldest of six children. My mom already had me when she met and married my step dad. Mom died when she was 39 years old.


I never had a good relationship with my step dad. He was mentally abusive to my mom and I have no love or respect for him.

Fast forward, dad is now 88 years old and my sister has done everything she can possibly do to be the glue that keeps our family together. Dad was an active, healthy gentleman until his girlfriend of twenty years and his two younger brothers died over the past six months.

He was moved into a beautiful Assisted Living Facility after a short stay with my sister. He was miserable and mean. Now he has lost more than 45 pounds and complains about everything. Last night he told my sister not to come back.

She has visited him 5 days a week for the past 4 months, two of my other siblings see him on the weekends.

My sister was beside herself. I was planning to see him today since my sister is away for the weekend.

Do I approach him and let him know how hurtful he is being?

Do we start the hospice process so that all of my siblings receive outside support to stick by him as he approaches the end of his journey? None of us can comprehend why he would choose to give up on life when our mom fought so hard to stay while battling cancer.

Comments for Next Steps..

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Not sure the comment will help
by: Anonymous

I'm not sure telling him how you feel will do any good. My mother has complained for the last 20 years about everything and any body. I couldn't do anything right I was a bad daughter.

So I left things to my brother, she calls me to tell me how much he messes things up. I told her well I guess the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I think at this point all you can do is hope for the best but expect the worst behavior from him. Once they become verbally abusive they don't stop.

Good luck

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Overwhelmed

    Jan 03, 20 12:40 PM

    I’m overwhelmed, tired, resentful and at this stage ready to put my mother in a nursing home because I work full time and have a job that’s 24/7. This

    Read More

  2. Now it is the guilt trip from the angry mother

    Jan 03, 20 12:38 PM

    Hi it me again with that anger mother issue. So I get a message from her telling me she needs some of my time. That my own family should realize when I

    Read More

  3. Long Distance Care

    Dec 30, 19 12:46 PM

    My 85 yo mother lives alone in her own home, and has been experiencing increasing memory loss over the past 2-1/2 years. She refuses to move, but I am

    Read More