Never Satisfied Dad

by Lynn
(Lancaster, TX, US)

I moved in with my dad 7 months ago. He was here alone and he offered for me to move in. He complains all the time. If I cook he don't like the food. If I don't cook he complains.

I tried to clean up and he had a problem with that. Now he complains I don't clean up. He says cruel things like he don't trust me and he needs me to get out of his house.

I am a clean living lady there's no extra that I bring to his house. I'm about to go live in my car and leave his house. I'm not the only child but no one else wants to live with him.

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the disease
by: Anonymous

Paranoia and distrust are two very classic symptoms of dementia and Alzheimer's and considering your dad's age, that's likely what is going on.

I've had my mom a year now with me. her accusations at first infuriated me, but I've come to realize this is just a symptom of the brain malfunctioning.

She can misplace items and then accuse me of taking them or accuse me of taking money when she hasn't looked at her bank account in years. It happens and the only thing to do is redirect them in another direction, change the subject, walk away from it because it will be forgotten.

The destruction going on in the brain changes people. My mom was very meek and mild and now she's a loudmouth, making fun of people on TV and very judgemental. I have to ignore that.

Don't take what he does personally. That's the best you can do. When he complains, you need to learn to brush it off. If you're in a situation where you have no where else to go there isn't much you can do but mentally help yourself.

Turn your brain off to thinking these are personal attacks. You're likely fighting resentment of your own at the same time that you're in this situation and that anger is directed at him.

Wish I could help you more. Wish someone could help me more, too. It is what it is.

Good idea
by: Anonymous

Thanks Anonymous that's a good idea. I will try the fake move thing. And as far as heart to heart not happening. He talks a good talk on the phone but not face to face. People can say anything on the phone.

Call his bluff
by: Anonymous

Maybe you should call his bluff and make arrangements to move out since he wants you to leave.

Is he capable of being alone? Can you hire someone to come in and help him out?

It's hard to sacrifice your life for someone who doesn't appreciate it.

Maybe jut having a heart to heart talk with him would do the trick.

I hope it works our for you. Take care.

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