Narcisistic Divorced Sister Caregiver to Our Mom with Alzheimer's
I hope this is the right place to ventilate. Looking all over the internet, on Alzheimer's sites, everywhere for answers. My 94 year old Mom has mid stage Alzheimer's. She has lived in her home since 1971. She has always been such a wonderful, positive role model for our whole family of her 2 sons and 4 daughters. My younger sister divorced after 19 years of marriage, and had 3 daughters, grown.
All she ever wanted to do was to move back to Texas to be with my Mom and around "her family". So after a lot of trouble in her life, her dream finally came true. She moved "home" and moved in with mom to reconnect with her and us. Then she was diagnosed with Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and treated for 3 years, in remission.
Long story short. Mom was diagnosed with Mid stage Alzheimer's 2 years after she moved in with her.
My sister a lot of mental issues: PTSD, Anxiety disorder, Possible personality disorder, Sleep disorders, Substance abuse, on and on.
She has never been happy in her life. She really needs inpatient treatment until someone diagnoses all of her craziness.
One of the only things she is good at is dealing with mom's finances.
So fast forward a few years. She has lived with mom for 6 years. Mom is going downhill, and it is time to move her to an Assisted Living Facility.
My sisters and brothers have found a great
place for Mom, who still has some spark in her, and is still a social person.
But my sister is very resistant to moving out of the house that is too much for her to take care of. My sister is so depressed and worried and negative all the time that she spreads this to mom. So now mom is not wanting to talk to us, and is mad at all of us all the time.That is not like her.
And we have all made a plan for my sister to be well taken care of financial to move into her own place. We will always take care of her financially, but she thinks we are lying to her.
She has always said she "wants a life" and "I can't do this anymore" and "this house is too much to take care of" etc. So we are giving her what she wants, and making Mom a priority; moving her to a safe , wonderful place ; and now my sister is doing everything she can to make mom crazy and tear the rest of us siblings apart over these hard decisions.
I could write a book, but you get the picture. Crazy sister taking care of sweet Alzheimer's mom; and making her a nervous wreck. Mom said she would "move in a heartbeat" if my sister was happy. That will never happen. She is crazy. And will never be happy.
Any ideas for some family harmony?