Nanny's Helper

by Lily
(New York)

My brother said I can't process this information when I asked him what did he think Mom's care should be....she has Alzheimer's, lives alone.

Fell at 4am and laid on the kitchen floor until 7pm when my sister found her...I am the main caregiver..all doctors visits, hairdresser, grocery store, laundry, garbage, neither he or my sister has offered any help with these...both of them say I don't know when I asked what type of care she should have...she can't just be alone everyday and night if there is a fall problem....not the first time she fell on the porch and the meals on wheels man had to help her up and in the house..I have not spoken to either of them for 2 years I have just continued to help my mom every week because I know they would not..but it is now at the point of no return....need some advice...

I left my mom in their care tonight because I could not stay in the room with them and their "I don't know" answers...she has been this way for 2 years it is not a new situation....she is also very stubborn an polish...he says shes old she is gonna fall..but it needs to be prevented

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Other Care
by: Anonymous

Have you considered assisted living or independent living ? My dad has neuropathy in his legs and was falling a lot so we decided it was in his best interest to move him into a retirement center/assisted living. At least there, if he falls he has a pull cord in every room and they check to make sure that everyone is accounted for every 12 hrs.

It breaks my heart to think of your mom laying on the floor all day and in pain. I also have nurses coming in 2 days a week to build my dads strength up in his legs and other preventative measures to keep falling at a minimum.

Take a Breath
by: Christine

Wow. First, you're not alone in this, but I'm sure it feels as though you are. Second, preventing falls is a HUGH priority. I'm afraid it's not just "she's old, therefore she will fall."

Falling is something caregivers have to aggressively address. Falls are the cause of disastrous consequences, and sometimes the result of illness itself. You need more help than you are getting, and your family can't comprehend what is occurring if they aren't there 24/7.

Don't make this your problem, because no one can shoulder that. Please get professional help; I know that's hard because my mother did not want "strangers" in her home and it took me a long time to convince her that outside help was in her best interest. Realize that your family may not always be your ultimate support group, so create one you can count of on your own.

With all my best wishes.

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