My Siblings Don't Contribute AT ALL.

by LH
(Massachusetts)

Literally, not one single bit. They do not even ask me how it is going, how I am managing, do I need anything. They don't want to hear about grosser elements of caring for aging parents (mother with dementia) even though they know I have to endure the reality, not to mention the insane stress and marked decline in my own quality of life.


And I am the most vulnerable person in our family--low income with chronic illness, four children of my own, and two grandchildren I help with, yet my brother and sister remain self-centered and oblivious, enjoying the luxury of tending only to themselves, their partners, their jobs, their children.

What a vacation that would be.

At this point, my siblings are dead to me. I feel revulsion when I think about their indifference. Am I angry as well as disgusted? Yes indeed! Thank you for letting me vent!!!!

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Hope things improve for you
by: Jillian

Hi LH – I’ve only just found this forum and what a God send it’s been reading everyone’s comments about their issues with elderly parents. There are so many of us out there!

I don’t have as difficult a time as you, but I totally understand your revulsion and disgust of your siblings. You sound like you’ve got an awful lot on your plate -- so hard!

Is there a Government Department or Charity that you can reach out to for help? Have you spoken to your brothers and sisters about your concerns and expressed your need for assistance? Sometimes people don’t see what’s right in front of their faces, but I know from personal experience that they can also easily just turn a blind eye.

When I asked my brother if he’d look after Mum and Dad for a week while I took a much needed break, he accidentally sent me a text, intended for his wife, telling her how selfish I was for wanting a holiday. He does nothing, and I know now not to expect anything from him.

He’s a non-entity in my life. My sister lives half way around the world and whilst she says all the right things in her emails, she never rings our Mother, or sends her a card – it’s just a case of ‘out of sight out of mind’.

Two selfish and uncaring individuals who just go about their business without even thinking of our parents. I understand your anger and frustration. Hopefully there’ll be some light at the end of the tunnel if you can tell your siblings how you’re feeling and/or get some outside help.

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Very sad
by: Anonymous

I am in the same circumstances like you. Yes indeed it would be a vacation for me if I only had to look after my own children, my spouse and my career. You never know the true character of your family, especially your siblings, until your parents are seriously ill.

I have been dealing with my lot in life for the last 17 years and often "fantasize" what it would be like to have a normal life. Sorry but you do not need family like that so best to write them off. May God give you patience for the cross you are bearing.

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