My Parents are Driving Me Insane

by Sue
(Arlingto Hts, IL )

My mom is bipolar and in her late 60's. She just recently had surgery. My dad just turned 78. Long story short my mom is doing better, however she is still walking with a walker and she's considered a fall risk.


She is home now after 6 months away. She has a visiting nurse/therapist and is expected to be able to walk without a walker sometime in the next 6 months. My dad had hip replacement surgery last July. Everyone has been telling my parents-especially my dad that decisions must be made regarding either to sell the house and consider assisted living or hire someone to help at home.

My father thinks he can take care of my mom at his age and the house which is impossible. He also expects us to come running each and every time something happens to them which we do. No matter what we do to help it isn't good enough and he wants us to give up our lives. We take time off work constantly to help, do everything he asks of us, and have a brother who never answers his phone or has a full voice mail.

Meanwhile we are totally unappreciated or treated like crap-talked down to- no mater the situation. I am at the point where I no longer feel like being talked to in the tone my father treats me in. I am a human being too and I can only take so much. Thoughts?

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This Article Rings True
by: Dianne

Hi Sue,
Yes, I have the same characteristics from my parents both in their 80s: talking down to me, telling me not to interfere when I'm only trying to help them, not cleaning their house properly and not letting anyone clean their home except me. The list goes on.....

I have come to the conclusion that I don't ring them up every day (which I did before because I worried about them), they respect me more. When I'm working or have an appointment, I just say no. They do not take any notice of any of my suggestions; so I say to them "this is all I can do for you, It's up to you: I can only advise you and it's up to you to rectify the problem"

Hope this gives you a similar insight,
good luck!

Dianne

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YOUR NOT ALONE
by: Doug

I have a mom who is very angry. And all of it is directed at me. Everyone else in her life she treats with respect. I too am at my wits end.

I now live with mom. She is 88. I always heard my twin talk about how mean she was. But wrote it off cause he was a drinker. Now he is dead and I am constantly under the wrath of mom.

I have given myself and her one more year of care and then it will be up to her what she wants to do. She says she does not want a nursing home but can not care for a home way out in the country.

I just remind myself that I am a good person and treat her with respect even if it is not returned. Nothing lasts forever.

I will be able to walk away someday and know I have done my best. Hang in there. Your not alone. Doug

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