My Mother is Tearing up my Family and Everyone Wants Me to Fix it Help!
We moved My 90 year old mother with partial dementia in our home 1 1/2 years ago and she is tearing my family apart. Everyone looks to me cause "SHE IS YOUR MOTHER" you fix this. My siblings won't help. My husband and her NEVER got along. My mother says God awful things to my husband and yet he has to take care of her when I am at work.
My daughter can't stand her. She has worn out my grandsons, treats them like their 3 and stupid, which their 15 (twins)and brilliant and also live with me. When they said they want to go to MIT she says to them you'll never get there! That's what I deal with.
She uses the dementia as an excuse when it benefits her. She has showed us when talking to one of my siblings (which won't take her and both of them are retired and live alone but say they can't deal with her even though I'm the only one working and my husband is disabled and my daughter lost her home and moved in with me with her son's) that she does know what's going on but a minute later pretends she doesn't cause she's not getting her own way on something.
She has always been a negative and criticism was her tool when I grew up. My grandmother actually raised me. My mother was never there physically or mentally other than to criticize. At 21 I left my grandparents and after my step father died she has followed me from state
Long story short, after breaking her hip for the second time (i took care of her )ended up at my home and has caused so many problems especially in my marriage. She always played the poor me card and expected me to entertain her cause she wouldn't make friends and everyone to her was awful people.
We don't have money either does she to put her in a decent nursing home. We tried when she broke her hip and was trying to get her on medicaid and because a couple of years ago she had some money which spent on things that were on sale and never used or word (because of her shopping addiction) and was her way of caring by buying you something. they said she can't have anything for 5 years.
They could have sent her to a place and wait to see but we still had to pay if it didn't go through. Again we don't have the money.
And in spite of it all she's still my mother and would not leave her in the horrible places that would except her. I love her but she has taken so much of my life (60 yrs) and now my families.
I know it's my fault for allowing her to manipulating me especially the past 20 years when she followed me to my home of 28 years. I did have 8 years of freedom before she followed me again.
My husband resents me for spending too much time with her and so does my daughter.