My Mother in Law is Very Demanding

by Lisa
(Alabama)

Four years ago, my sister in law and her husband divorced and she moved to a different city (about 45 minutes)away. At that time, she took it upon herself to appoint me to tend to her mother since I live 0.8 tenths of a mile from her. During this time I have done anything and everything that my mother in law wants from me.

In the past 2 years, things have gotten really bad with her. She has become demanding and if I don't run up the hill to tend to her right then, then she calls and calls until I go. I've tried to talk to my husband and his sisters about this, but I am not being heard or listened to. Last November, mother became very ill and was in ICU for 8 days.....we almost lost her.

It was an emotional time for all of us. She made it back to us and was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic. This means I now have to give her insulin at least once a day. After her hospital stay, she overdosed on pain medications and antibiotics. So, now I am in charge of all her medications.

Now, along with grocery shopping for her, picking up her medications, taking her to the doctor (when she doesn't cancel the appointment), cleaning her kitchen(because she just can't do it according to her), I now go once at 7am to check her blood sugar and again at 3pm to check it again and give her all her medicine.

I've asked for help and all I have gotten is 2 days from my husband and just do what you do honey from everybody else. I am so stressed that I have actually considered suicide. but, I have 3 boys and a grandson on the way and I so want to be here for them.

What do I do to ease the pressure? Along with all of this, my husband hasn't been working for 3 months and we are behind in our rent and we don't have enough food to last. Any advice would be helpful. Thank You.

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Stop!
by: Anonymous

Wow! Your husband hasn't been working for three months yet YOU are being driven insane by his demanding difficult mother? And he has a sister? You have allowed yourself to become a door mat and are being used.

I tried to 'do it all' for my mother after she became ill, including caring for her at home, she is unable to walk or even weight bear. After two months of trying to be everything for her she got very ill and had to go into hospital (10 days ago). At that point I looked at what I was doing and realized I was living for her and ignoring myself, my husband, my home, my business and my grown children.

Also, I had to face how little it was appreciated by my own mother as she became hurtful and angry with me. I know it's hard to face the fact you are very sick and may never see your home again, but that should be sorrow, tears but not being mean and vicious with those who were always there for you. Mom will never be home again and that hurts me, but I also have my life back and that is the way it should be.

In other words, you are allowing your life to be destroyed to the point of considering death to escape. You are allowing it. Only you can stop it.

If your husband and sis-in-law get angry with you for wanting your life back, then neither one really gives a crap about you and you'd be better off leaving all together. Get it together and get strong.

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