My Mother has Others wanting to Help her but Refuses It.

I live out of town from my aging parent who has always been difficult, even in her younger years. Now she is 80 and lives alone. She has many people wanting to help her but makes excuses and refuses and then gives me the "I am so alone or lonely" sob story every time I talk to her.

For the past 6 months I have been calling her up to 4 times a week for 30 to 40 minutes at a time and this has helped some. This past week, I left my own family, I have a husband and 2 children at home to be with her for 4 days. She just wanted me to stay longer and never emotional before made a scene about how she would miss me. I felt bad.

She refuses to go out with friends because she doesn't like the time they go out and we are talking about the difference between 8 a.m. and 9 a.m. or an 8:45 church service versus 10:30 church service. She won't go with my brother who lives in town if the time doesn't suit her and she refuses my cousin's frequent invitations to family events for this reason or that. She has always been very stubborn and difficult.

I ended up having an anxiety attack and going to the e.r. after the last visit. I had called her when I got home and she was going on and on about how lonely she was and all her relatives had died, etc.

I realize she is making these choices and has always loved drama but I am doing my best and it is not enough and now worry about her is affecting my health.