My Life and Health are Suffering

by Anonymous

I am in Australia and came across this website.

I am 50 and care for my almost 92 year old dad. He is frail aged with dementia. Mum died suddenly aged 86 three years ago and dad deteriorated rapidly.

Dad has lived with me since 6 weeks after mum died.

I have to do everything, cleaning, cooking, showering, taking him out. He is in a wheelchair outside of the house. I get some respite care which I pay for and dad goes to a day group for a few hours.

I have 3 teenagers who won't lift a finger to help, I work the night shift to pay the bills.

My husband has not lived here for 8 months, is angry and bad tempered when he visits, tells me the house is not tidy enough, critical of everything and says I should to do a lot better in housekeeping, and parenting. I do my best, I have no help, I am exhausted. My kids do nothing to help.

Today he said he will not return whilst dad is here.

I have fallen out of love with husband and I hate it when he visits. I hope he stays away. I dread his visits

I don't want the husband back. I get no help or support from him. I have no financial support from my husband. He has not paid one cent for help towards school fees, house upkeep, bills, kids school shoes, vet bills etc and refuses to do so.

I am tired of being told things are not good enough.
I do my best.
I am exhausted from night shifts and then have to battle to get dad up and moving by day.

I think I am technically below the poverty line.
The ONLY reason I am surviving (just) financially, is my father gets money from the family home now bring rented, and I use that money. Otherwise I would have been in huge trouble as my wage is not enough to support 5 people in the house and 2 cats.

I have no sisters or brothers. All relatives are in the UK.

I love my dad but he is not the dad I had 5 years ago, he is frail demented now and can't remember the family home of 55 years.

But dad has been the best dad I could ask for, and I will be left with his house and other assets as he set me up to be secure after he has gone.

I will probably move out when dad passes and live alone quietly somewhere and share the kids with hubby.
My marriage is over

My life and my health are deteriorating.
I am financially stressed.
I never thought I would be like this.

My dad would be horrified if he knew how bad things have become .
I have a little cry most days

Comments for My Life and Health are Suffering

Average Rating

Click here to add your own comments

Rating

My heart goes out to you
by: Anonymous

I could have just cried reading your post.
You are shouldering a huge burden and all alone.

I wish I could just give you a big hug.

Please post as often as you can. We are here to listen and to give you some support.

Rating

boston
by: michael

Hi,

Read what your going thru...
I wrote a thread here as well from Boston you can read the mess I'm in (lol)not really. My brothers sisters in my eyes are selfish as hell as it's all about their family. Like I don't exist at all.

I never even get a weekend free unless I take off because I feel like I will die if I don't almost.

I'm really spirited person and like to move to the next day but it can contain you bad.

Anyway,back to you...your a great woman to do What you do kids parent cat's all that and work. wow, your special and what I realize is the superman and women who take on this emotional battle and whatnot always get outsiders b.s. with no compassion or respect for what your doing which is way more than there view for sure I say.

So mom helps me with this or that good price out a nursing home for 9,000 a month put that in your pipe and smoke it. Ya big difference, huh?

When they do that you say it's not what we are spending but look at what I'm helping on savings from there. I think your great don't let them wear you down god bless, Michael, love if you write back to me as Sharon did she is terrific plus I'm single xo

Rating

Protect Yourself
by: Anonymous

If you get divorced would your husband be entitled to half the money from your fathers home when you inherit it?

Try to avoid that

Good luck

I am also struggling

Cheers from Alabama

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.