My Life and Health are Suffering
I am in Australia and came across this website.
I am 50 and care for my almost 92 year old dad. He is frail aged with dementia. Mum died suddenly aged 86 three years ago and dad deteriorated rapidly.
Dad has lived with me since 6 weeks after mum died.
I have to do everything, cleaning, cooking, showering, taking him out. He is in a wheelchair outside of the house. I get some respite care which I pay for and dad goes to a day group for a few hours.
I have 3 teenagers who won't lift a finger to help, I work the night shift to pay the bills.
My husband has not lived here for 8 months, is angry and bad tempered when he visits, tells me the house is not tidy enough, critical of everything and says I should to do a lot better in housekeeping, and parenting. I do my best, I have no help, I am exhausted. My kids do nothing to help.
Today he said he will not return whilst dad is here.
I have fallen out of love with husband and I hate it when he visits. I hope he stays away. I dread his visits
I don't want the husband back. I get no help or support from him. I have no financial support from my husband. He has not paid one cent for help towards school fees, house upkeep, bills, kids school shoes, vet bills etc and refuses to do so.
I am tired of being told things are not good enough.
I do my best.
I am exhausted from night shifts and then have to battle to get dad up and moving by day.
I think I am technically below the poverty line.
The ONLY reason I am surviving (just) financially, is my father gets money from the family home now bring rented, and I use that money. Otherwise I would have been in huge trouble as my wage is not enough to support 5 people in the house and 2 cats.
I have no sisters or brothers. All relatives are in the UK.
I love my dad but he is not the dad I had 5 years ago, he is frail demented now and can't remember the family home of 55 years.
But dad has been the best dad I could ask for, and I will be left with his house and other assets as he set me up to be secure after he has gone.
I will probably move out when dad passes and live alone quietly somewhere and share the kids with hubby.
My marriage is over
My life and my health are deteriorating.
I am financially stressed.
I never thought I would be like this.
My dad would be horrified if he knew how bad things have become .
I have a little cry most days