My Heart Goes Out to Everyone Dealing with This.

by Anonymous

My heart goes out to all of you going through this. My father died last summer and my mother was not able to live by herself. She had symptoms of Alzheimer's and just wouldn't take care of herself. She was also not able to drive anymore. Since my home is not handicapped accessible in any stretch of the imagination my sister let her live with her just until we could get her in an assisted living facility.

We both knew what mom's true personality is and it would not be possible to live with her. While she was at my sister's house she would get mad because she couldn't figure out the remote and throw it.

She would yell at her kids and threw her son's Nintendo and broke it. She was constantly yelling for her 7 year old son to bring her this or get her that. I somehow got through all the paperwork and phone calls to get her on Medicaid so she could move into assisted living.

Since she has been there she has refused to eat most of what they serve. Telling them their food tastes like S#@t. I have ate lunch with her and went to their family Thanksgiving dinner. There is not a thing wrong with their food, it is actually quite good but mom expects us to bring her food in that she can keep in her room.

For 8 months she has called me 6 to 20 times a day. It is never because she is lonely or just wants to talk. I would welcome that, but no it is to tell me she is out of
this or that snack food and she is so impatient she usually refuses to wait even a few days or she will just keep calling until I drive the hour it takes to get there.

I had to place her in an assisted living an hour away because it was the only one that would allow her to smoke on the property. I can't help but wonder if the stress of the last 9 months has played a part in some of the health problems I have now.

The real problem is other people don't see this side of her. She is the sweetest person on earth to her Hospice workers, etc. In fact she has them convinced I never come see her (we are up there every weekend) and my sister is keeping her grand kids from her. It is a lie.

When I have to take her to a doctor appointment she gets irate if they make her wait more than 30 minutes. Starts cussing and threatening to leave. The stress of taking her someplace she might have to wait is very bad.

I know there are certain people that judge me because I didn't let her move in with me since I have no children. If it is this bad with her in assisted living I don't think my marriage would have survived her living with us. It is just too much.

The worst part is the mask she puts on for other people so now family and hospice thinks I am terrible when I have just tried to do the best that I can and have paid for it with my own health.

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