My Father-in-Law wants Everything to be Free to Him!

by Susie
(Kansas)

All of my father-in-law's children but me and my husband live far away and I get stuck dealing with him. He has more than adequate money, but expects me to pay all the gas to chauffeur him to town, meals,do his laundry, clean his house(I even have to use my own cleaning supplies when I clean over there), etc.


He gives money to charity, his church and even his own kids but seems to resent me asking for my expenses back. My husband was sick a few weeks back and I had to hire someone to mow his lawn.

He went through the roof, family helps family. But what about my expenses and time and I am not even his child. I am resentful of his using me, when he gives money to his friends, church and none to those who actually are doing the work.

He even told me the last time that he was in the hospital, that he doesn't need me to feel obligated to take care of him. I lost two days from my work and my husband didn't even stop to see him while he was in the hospital.

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Welcome to the World of Elder Care
by: Anonymous

I understand totally what you are saying only it is my Dad and Stepmother. I have 2 sisters and one brother who live in other states and I am the closest to them geographically.

I can honestly say it is very easy to fall into our roles as caregivers and very difficult to get out of it. If my Dad would have told me not to be obligated to take care of him I should have jumped at the chance to say NO!

Since your Father in Law gave you the option I would bow out and have him pay for home health care to do all of these things instead of you.

Good Luck

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Why?
by: Anonymous

And you are doing all this, why? Have you ever said to him "you give money to friends, to your church but you won't even pay me the money I'm out of my own pocket and I will not continue to pay your way?" As for cleaning, go to his house and say you don't have anything to clean with.

If he insists that you bring yours, just simply say, I cannot afford to supply these for free. Also, tell him that you want to be paid to clean, if he won't, then don't. If you back off, the rest of his family, including your husband will be forced to step up.

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