My Brother is Useless

by Joe-Ann
(Marlton, NJ)

Mom lives with me. Hospital bed. Two shifts of caregivers every day. Caregivers that call in sick. Doctor phone calls. Changes in medications. Payroll to the girls. Overseeing Mom's care.


Getting up in the middle of the night when I hear her cough, call, drop something. Doing full care when I don't have a caretaker. Her paperwork. Ordering supplies. Orchestrating the various nurses, therapists and doctors that come to visit her. Arranging blood tests. Adjusting her medications. Scripts filled...all of it. Every day. Every week.

Just because I have help doesn't give my brother the right to not call. Not come. Not care. He claims he cares deeply. Worries so much about mom.

Brother has a heart condition. He's fragile. He's loving. But he's selfish and unrealistic. Thinks my Mom is gonna live forever.

He's also in the process of building a house. Which I've done and know how time consuming it is. How all encompassing it is.

However....I built my house while I was taking care of my mother...who, at the time wasn't as sick...but still needed care.

I'm beginning to get so angry at my brother that I don't even want to talk to him. I just pretend that I'm listening to his stories about the house building and then tell him I've got to get off the phone. He doesn't get it at all.

I don't even want to get into the discussion with him because he has a lot of legit excuses. I understand and love him. But I'm amazed at how selfish he is and how incapable he is to deal with any of this.

She's home from rehab for 2 months and he has visited only once.
He lives 2 l/2 hours away.

How can I get the message across to him without showing anger?

Comments for My Brother is Useless

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I Agree Brothers are Useless
by: Anonymous

I can certainly empathize with you. I am caring for both my 86 year old Father and 83 year old Mother. Both with heart problems, cancer, diabetes, cataracts, and every problem in between. 24/7 365 days a year.

I have two brothers that live in different states and both are retired. Neither will come and stay with my parents so that my husband and I can leave for a few days.
Both have come for 1 week during a time when one of the parents were ill or in the hospital and left as soon as the parent was released to come home.

So, in between balancing hospital visits, conferences with the doctors,changing medications and caring for the parent that wasn't in the hospital I did not get any relief while the brother visited AND still had to make sure he and his wife had something to eat for dinner each night.
GOD help me.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Care Giving and Having a Life...how are you able to manage? .


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. Barmy and Put Upon

    Sep 18, 17 12:16 PM

    My partners mother is staying with us after the elder alcoholic brother who lived in her house with her was found dead in the bathroom after 3 days! The

    Read More

  2. Exhausted - Mom Thinks I Need to be at Her Assisted Living Home All Day!

    Sep 18, 17 12:14 PM

    My Mom recently fell and fractured her neck (C1). Even though her neck is healing, she has developed some dementia and can't seem to learn any new daily

    Read More

  3. Certified Health Care Aide

    Sep 13, 17 05:50 PM

    I care for an elderly lady in my home. I have been doing this for the last 20 years. I am looking forward to another lady in October. This is a privately

    Read More