My Brother is Insane and Nobody Cares

by John
(Nevada)

I have read many of the postings on this website about people who are taking care of their parents who are afflicted with Alzheimer's or dementia. I have a similar experience in my life but it isn't in looking after my parent.


My brother has schizophrenia. He takes several different medicines every day just to be able to function somewhat normally. My mother is 64 years old. She and I live with my brother in a small apartment.

Every day we have to put up with my brother's idiosyncrasies and bizarre moments when he gets off kilter. We don't have much money, and my "father", who lives elsewhere with his "surrogate" family, is a well off, selfish narcissist who has never done anything to speak of for his disabled son.

So, it all gets put on my mother, and I am her co-martyr since I live in this trying situation with her. I'm concerned about what this stress could be doing to my mother's overall health.

Dealing with a schizophrenic person, although medicated, is a challenge that anybody who deals with a dementia patient will understand. The only difference is that my brother doesn't have severe memory loss and can at least function physically. Yet, his moods fluctuate from agreeable to very unpleasant and paranoid.

He is taking all the medications that are supposed to bring him under control, and is evaluated every three months, but there is always going to be something to set him off.

He is socially inept and can't work anymore, because nobody understands or knows how to relate to a schizophrenic. It's very sad.

Life sucks when one is always under the strain of worrying about the welfare of someone else, whom one loves but wants to be away from. I'm still fairly young and have never really been able to do anything for myself because I'm all tied up in the scenario.

And rich relatives don't give a damn, either. They are in their yachts cruising life while I'm with my mom and mentally ill brother in a lifeboat.

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i understand too
by: chica

so very true and I agree with the poster that I feel like a trapped bird in a cage while no one seems to understand and if you complain you are just whining for no reason.

I am the 1a caregiver for my 80 year old dad and I desperately feel to fly out of this cage. My best years are going by I am also a single mom. this situation is is so desperate and I feel nothing but anger and resentment for my father.

No one cares to understand my predicament and the boys, his sons are never around. I am just there to cater to all their needs as if I don't have a life of my own to even watch a bit of television and/or to drink a cup of tea.

I dread when my father approaches is always some need or want that I must immediately attend to....

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Understood
by: Elly

I am sorry you and your mother are in this situation. I am sorry for your brother too.
I take care of my mom. And like you, I do my best by her while feeling like a caged bird who is desperate to fly.

The solution for people in our situation is for the work to be shared among more family members, maybe church members, maybe friends.

But since I have yet to hear of that being the case, we are stuck, caring for someone else while our best years go by. Meanwhile the family members who wont help, continue unaffected by anyone else's misery.

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