My brother and his wife do not help

by Marlene
(San Mateo, California)

Taking care of my elderly parents is such a hasell.


The guilt alone for thinking these words is a big burden to me. In addition, I am constantly bombarded with second guessing and being questioned from my brother about the quality of Dad and Mom's elderly care, that the anger I feel really comes to the breaking point sometimes.

Does anyone know how to handle the questions and wise cracks from a brother or sister who won't help but just second guesses?

Comments for My brother and his wife do not help

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Tell them to take Over
by: Anonymous

Tell them to take over ..Tell them that they are certainly capable of doing a better job than you are, so they should take over as soon as possible.
And if they don't, then tell them to at least shut up.

I was in the same situation. My 4 siblings did absolutely nothing except criticize and gave free advice, until I told them to take over. Then they miraculously disappeared from the landscape, comments and all!

Of course, they did a fair share of back-biting and told relatives and friends about what a scum-bag I was, but they left me alone at least.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Do less....Sibling needs the Opportunity to try it Himself
by: H Fuller

Pack up Mom and Dad and deliver them to the next one who makes a snide crack.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I'm Doing the Best I Can...
by: Anonymous

The next time you are told or asked about the quality of elder care that you're giving simply tell them that you are doing the best that you can and invite them to share in the responsibility for caring for your elderly parent.

If they say no thanks (and they will), tell them that when they put as many hours into the care of your aging parent as you do, then they can feel free to comment.

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
I Feel for You, Marlene
by: Laraine

At least when my sisters-in-law allowed their father to dump himself onto me (when I had to work and they didn't) they never complained about our care of him. Well, certainly not in my hearing; they might have whined to each other.

We did our best but you can't really care for an elderly person properly when you have to earn a living. Have you pointed out to them that they aren't doing their share? Have you suggested that if they don't think you're doing things right they should jolly well take over the job themselves?

Another thing you could do is send them to read the reactions of people like myself to your posting here. I think they are abominably selfish and disgustingly ungrateful for what you are doing.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2017 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. The Tide Is Turning

    Oct 20, 17 10:28 AM

    I’ve been taking care of mom for seven years. I read this forum faithfully. I now see more sentiment surfacing in favor of facility-assisted care. There’s

    Read More

  2. Who am I?

    Oct 20, 17 10:26 AM

    I'm the youngest and I always knew I'd be the one to care for my mum. i have a sister who lives opposite my mum. when my mum had a stroke, me and my sister

    Read More

  3. Bewildered

    Oct 05, 17 02:54 PM

    Selfishness, selfishness when you don't feel yourself anymore when all is expected and no thanks are given when your jaw feels so tired you can't close

    Read More