Mum will Not Go Into Care

by Anonymous

I am my 91 year old mothers carer, she has Alzheimer's dementia and thinks that all her insides have been removed and she can't eat and drink because she has nothing to do it with, although she does eat and drink, so I don't know what she is thinking when she does.


I have been her carer for over a year now, We moved from our home in another country to look after her, We rent here and live a few miles away,

We still have our house overseas but have not been there for over a year. Money is getting really tight because we have to rent and don't have any money coming in apart from my husbands works pension.

I really feel as though I've lost my life and can see no future, by the time I get my life back I will be too old, I can see no answer to this.

I have read through all the comments and this has helped me so much hearing that I am not the only one going through this.

My mum is adamant that she will not go into a home and I can't make her, so will have to wait this out, but for how long!!!!!

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I can Empathize
by: Anonymous

I know I am not the only caregiver who can empathize with your situation and resulting feelings.

My mother is almost 94 and although she can put on her own clothes, go to the bathroom and feed herself, she cannot prepare any food or do anything that requires her to use her hands/fingers due to severe arthritis.

She is bent over like a "U" and the doctors say its just a laziness habit because her back is fine. I figure what does it matter, anyway, if she's reached this age?

My sense of compassion keeps me from even asking her to go into a nursing home. I look at her and hear her say how "useless and helpless" she is, and "what's the point in still living?" and my heart aches for her.

It aches for me, too, though because (like you) I keep wondering what will be left of me by the time she is gone. I have siblings who help me whenever I ask, so I'm lucky in that respect.

But I sure look forward to just having my own life to be concerned about. By the time that happens I'll probably be saying I miss her so much I can't stand it. Who knows.

I just take each day at a time. I can't afford to do otherwise.

I wish you well.

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