Mum has Refused to Wash Herself

Mum is in her 80s and her and her bed smells really bad: my father or I makes sure the linen is changed regularly and her clothes cleaned; but she refuses to wash of receive help to wash herself. My father told me last month she has not washed for months: I was not surprised.


I feel that I will have to step in and arrange for the district nurse to come to her home and wash her. I have discussed this with dad and found that he has avoided doing this because Mum is very stubborn and would give the nurse a very hard time and refuse to be washed. I have also mentioned to dad that she needs to be washed for her hygiene and health and he agrees. I have also said that same thing to mum.

Any more suggestions would be appreciated,

Dianne

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Mom refuses Bathing
by: Anonymous

If it is at all possible, ask her why she does not want to be bathed. You did not mention it, but if she is experiencing dementia or Alzheimer's, there are flaws in her logic or she may actually have surface sensitivity and not want to be bathed because it hurts.Is she afraid of being touched? Is she robust or frail? Is she at all capable of getting in the shower herself? Even with a shower chair?

If it is just the stubbornness of a child, then do not take "no" for an answer and just do it. She is risking her health to not allow bathing. If you can't get soap and water near her, then offer to give a massage but use WATERLESS SANITARY CLEANER to do it.

Our elders, mentally and emotionally, become like children, again, when the brain starts to die. They have to be handled with "tough love" as we did our toddlers when they were little. The most important thing is not to take any negative comments from the invalid to heart. They are not cognizant of how their words may hurt, they are only lashing out and may not actually even know what they've said.

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Too Stubborn to Wash
by: Anonymous

My live-in mom totally shocked me when I told her I had made arrangements for a helper to bathe her instead of me, when the time comes and that's close. She sighed loudly and cried, saying it was such a relief for her because she did not want her daughter having to bathe her. Just worrying about it made her hard to get along with.

Her bathroom smells really awful because she accidentally urinates on the floor every single day. To make matters worse she denies even being able to smell it. The solution has been to buy a bottle of pet urine enzyme, spray the tile and grout around the toilet, leave it 5 minutes and then use my new steam vac to kill bacteria and sanitize the area. It truly is the first thing I've used to get results with bathroom odor.

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