by Metra

Caregiving for my 78 year old mother. She put herself in poor health by not eating properly, smoked like a chimney and is a hoarder. As a child she was not a nurturing mother and at times was abusive. I forgave her and kept connected to her by including her in family events with my children and husband.

Spent quality time with her because in spite of her negative behavior I have always loved my mother. Well let’s fast forward to today. She is verbally abusive, contrary to care, has no empathy and tries to treat me like her servant. I must constantly establish boundaries with her.

Her care plan is as follows: medications in the morning, blood pressure and blood glucose monitoring eye drops then breakfast. Med before meal eye drops then lunch. Med before dinner eye drops then dinner. At bedtime 50 units of insulin. Next day wash rinse repeat.

Mind you while doing all of this for her I am haunted by the resentment I feel because of her abusive nature. In between caregiving must sort and move her hoard.

At some point I will make other arrangements because providing care at this level is not sustainable. Am I angry? Yes. I have an undeserving and unappreciative parent. ✨

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