Ms. R

by Sandra
(Kansas City, Missouri)

My sibling and I both care for our elderly cousin. I live very close so I am called numerous times per day. My cousin recently gave away a living room set he had promised to me and also gifted my sibling with a large sum of money. I am feeling increasingly resentful and helpless.


Now my sibling is talking of 'distributing' my cousin's money. Part of his intention is to hire his 30 year old niece as caregiver. I've been doing it for free including my own gas, food, etc. I am being treated with little respect and don't know what to do. Yes, I have aired my views to cousin and sibling. We have joint Power of Attorney, etc.

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Little Compensation
by: Former Charms Lollipop

I read your story and if it didn't sound familiar.
I too have had this same experience with my family members. You deserve to be reimbursed for your gas,food, time just like they would pay a caregiver.

I'm sure your not independently wealthy to keep up the pace of demands being made both in time and monetarily speaking. Don't let these folks take advantage of you!

Also, don't feel like you shouldn't ask.....if you don't ask, they won't pay you a thin dime. Tell them you require the same considerations.
Best of luck to you. God Bless.

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'Getting it Right'
by: Anonymous

Maybe you should be considered as the first option for caregiver, seeing you are the one nearest to your Cousin and willing to be available. Let your sibling know that it would help to be supported in a meaningful way as you do this. Financially I mean.

Remember, your Elder cousin chose the two of you to look after him/her for a reason. If a little financial support to you per month would make things go smoother then agree to that and don't make this an issue between you. Your cousin's needs may grow with time and you'll need to be working together in his/her best interest!

I don't think that he/she would mind helping financially once you are ensuring that he/she is being protected and well looked after. This to me, is reasonable. As it relieves The caregiver of some of their own cares, and lightens the load.

(Also, people perform better when they are being paid to do it). So ask for the chance to serve in this way if you so desire.

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Don't sign.
by: Anonymous

If you share power of attorney, nothing can be done without your signature. Sounds like your partner there is hoodwinking you. Don't let it happen.

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