Moving to North Bay at the End of June to Look after Elderly Parents

by Sylvie
(Toronto, Ontario, Canada)

I went up to visit my parents for a holiday, but got a surprise when I arrived, I havent been home since I was 18 yrs old.

My mother and father both have mental illness, but my dad is worse, he is drinking heavily too. My mother wants me to move from Toronto to north bay, so I have decided to do that, but now I have my father calling me telling me if I go up there he will have me arrested for trespassing.

I feel that I am not wanted there now. I am very scared as this is the first ever doing this. I have four grown children and three granddaughters that are in Toronto. I have made all the arrangements to move up but I am worried of having a conflict with my father. What suggestions can you give me. nervous Nelly, Sylvie

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Update Please If You Ever Read This!
by: Anonymous

You moved to take care of your parents in 2012. Its now December 2018. How are you doing??

Updating My Going to North Bay, Ontario to Look After Elderly Parents PART 2
by: Anonymous

Well, I am moving up on Friday June 29TH, 2012, have3 everything packed and ready to go, got the storage place on hold, U-Haul truck too. Got my G2 license so I will not need a driver, will be driving myself.

Spoke to my father and everything is okay, told him I would only be staying there until I find a place of my own.

We choose to retire up north, as it is quite, calm and relaxing. Doctor told me I am doing the right thing by moving up there. Will take it one day at a time with my parents and hopefully can all come to some agreement. Nellie

Sylvie - Moving to North Bay
by: Wendy

Hi Sylvie,

I have just read your post and cannot understand why you are contemplating this move as I am sure your family of the future would love your assistance and guidance.

Is this move because your mum has asked you. If so why do you think she has asked? Is she perhaps depressed and lonely. If so she needs to sort that out for herself and not put it on her daughter, who she should be supporting.

Only you know the situation, I wish to well, go with your heart and not your guilt

Best wishes Wendy

by: Gloria

Dear Nellie,
I look after my mother 24/7 and it does get you down, what you are proposing to do up sticks and move to be near your parents and they both have mental issues is a recipe for disaster, it will be soul destroying.

I can`t tell you what to do, but you will be leaving your children,grandchildren and your home.
Think carefully what you are giving up, and the challenges before you.

I know what it is like to constantly care for someone, but to care for someone with mental issues is harder still. Good luck Nellie....the road before you will be hard, and God bless you what ever you decide.

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