Moved to Help Mom

by Shelley
(Santa Maria)

I moved back to my hometown with husband and child to take care of my grandmother, then father, and then mother.


Yes, for the past 22 years I have been caring for a nearly bed-ridden relative. I do this working full-time and with them paying for helpers to come 3 times a day (13 times out of the 21 times) a week. I do shopping, weekends and Thursday evenings. I deal with any repairs or emergencies.

My sister, who lives 3,000 miles away is the power of attorney, and executor. My grandmother willed me half her house and I paid my mother for the other half - so that I could stay in town.

Now, after caring for my mom for the last 14 years I find out that my sister is going to be willed all of my mother's house. That doesn't bother me as much as the attitude that this is fair. My family is the one who helps with the up-keep and yard-care.

My sister "visits" twice a year and doesn't lift a finger-won't clean, sort, help change a diaper. She will do laundry. My mother cannot afford to pay for more care and I know she is lonely and that I give her the best care. I am ready to walk away from it(a reverse mortgage?), but you know I can't - my heart won't let me.

So, I am so sad to think of my selfish sister and how her family treats my children (You have to live with the decisions you make - is what they are telling them.) This is the same sister, that when my father died, I received none of his personal belongings (I wanted a cowboy plate he had) - my nephew received it.
I am heart-broken.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Elder Care Anger and Resentment.


Home | Site Map | About | Contact | Privacy Policy | Disclosure

© Copyright evSky Incorporated 2008-2019 | All Rights Reserved


Eldercare for

Aging Parents

Are you having a difficult time with being the "Caregiver" for Mom and Dad?

Click Here to Read What Others are Saying and Leave a Comment About Your Own Experiences....

Or Start your Own Discussion Page!

Recent Articles

  1. So stressed and tired

    Feb 12, 19 01:04 PM

    My mom is 86 and is beginning the decline of cognitive ability. Seems she is most agitated at night ,Sundowner's, and the paranoia is really becoming so

    Read More

  2. Don't Understand Sister's Behavior

    Feb 08, 19 01:29 PM

    My sister sold Mom's Florida house and completely took over, and when she brought her up here she is lost and hates it here. Everything is so far away.

    Read More

  3. What happened

    Feb 05, 19 09:51 AM

    My mother suffered a left side stroke. It left her paralyzed and in a pity party. 5 siblings 2 are useless. 1 is a dictator. Mom is gonna be with me for

    Read More