Moved to Help Mom

by Shelley
(Santa Maria)

I moved back to my hometown with husband and child to take care of my grandmother, then father, and then mother.


Yes, for the past 22 years I have been caring for a nearly bed-ridden relative. I do this working full-time and with them paying for helpers to come 3 times a day (13 times out of the 21 times) a week. I do shopping, weekends and Thursday evenings. I deal with any repairs or emergencies.

My sister, who lives 3,000 miles away is the power of attorney, and executor. My grandmother willed me half her house and I paid my mother for the other half - so that I could stay in town.

Now, after caring for my mom for the last 14 years I find out that my sister is going to be willed all of my mother's house. That doesn't bother me as much as the attitude that this is fair. My family is the one who helps with the up-keep and yard-care.

My sister "visits" twice a year and doesn't lift a finger-won't clean, sort, help change a diaper. She will do laundry. My mother cannot afford to pay for more care and I know she is lonely and that I give her the best care. I am ready to walk away from it(a reverse mortgage?), but you know I can't - my heart won't let me.

So, I am so sad to think of my selfish sister and how her family treats my children (You have to live with the decisions you make - is what they are telling them.) This is the same sister, that when my father died, I received none of his personal belongings (I wanted a cowboy plate he had) - my nephew received it.
I am heart-broken.

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