Mother in law that Pulls in Family Members and Friends with Lies and Destructive Gossip

by Betty

My mother in law is 86 and seems to be in the beginning of Alzheimer's. Her younger sister is in a nursing home last 3 yr for same. Her reality is slipping and she calls and pulls in family that is not around normally to spread vicious lies about her son and me.

She says what ever she thinks will hurt us and make the person she is in conversation with be on her side. Like we are putting poison in the coffee container, and extreme versions of family events to make us look bad. How do you get past the depression that follows the finding out and anger of her being caught?

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Mother in law - so suspicious
by: Anonymous

My mother in law moved in 2 1/2 months ago because she was kicked out by her daughter. She is early dementia, but is SO suspicious.

She will say her food and drinks taste funny - ask if we put anything in her food, and insinuate at stores and banks that we are stealing her money.

She wants to go to the bank every day to check on her money and wants to lock her "jewelry" in a bank vault, even though it is all costume jewelry.

I do everything for her, take her to the doctors (she loves to go and will invent reasons to see the doctor). I fix her every meal, clean her laundry - basically I am a mother to her. But she does not trust me in the least.

I have 2 disabled daughters of my own - and she is SO hard on them for not helping enough - but she does nothing but criticize me. How do you cope with this forever???

I know Where you're Coming From.
by: J

When I read your comment title, I thought we must be twins separated at birth. Oh, there are a few differences. My mother-in-law lives with me and has all her mental faculties. She's just a mean and vicious gossip with the same destructive, lying attitude. Her health problems are all physical.

I'm still searching for an answer to deal with the depression and anger that results from her constant lies and vindictive gossip. My husband is able to ignore it, but he has a unique point of view. I struggle with it daily. I do a lot of writing to try and get my feelings out and every now and then I go back and read what I've written to see if there is any insight to be gained. Sometimes there is, sometimes not, but it helps just to put all those emotions into cohesive thoughts.

I hope this helps you to know that you're not alone on this horrible, life altering path that our lives have taken..

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