Mother in Law Lives with Us Because She Could not/Would not Travel Back Home

by Getting My Words Out

My husband and my mother-in-law have always been close during our 31 years of marriage. My MIL would spend a couple of weeks with us every couple of months throughout our marriage. Why would you do that to newlyweds?

I never spoke out against it because she was very friendly to me. I guess I was young. My husband worked out of town quite a bit while our kids were young. I stayed home with the kids and my MIL would jump at the chance to travel with my husband.

It made logical sense at the time, but looking back I realized she never offered to watch the kids so I could travel with my husband every once in a while.

Also, my kids were never invited to spend the night at her house. My husband's dad passed away when my husband was a senior in high school, therefore he feels he needs to take care of her, so to speak.

As the years went by and my MIL became quite elderly, she would stay at our house for several weeks and then my brother-in-law for a few weeks at her house. We alternated responsibilities, so each of us could get a break.

Then the day she was suppose to go home, she decided she could not travel anymore. She now stays in the den area which has changed the dynamics of the household. The den area is now completely her area so the kids did not have a place to go when their friends visit. We built a room for my son.

I moved my office to my
sons old room because it was next to the den and I could not talk on the phone and get my work done. This has been financially challenging with the added expenses.

She gives us $100 per month for groceries.

Sometimes she will pay for fast food when it is her idea. All of her money goes to her house because she does not want to sell it. She does not like change.

My husband has a full time job and we are also self-employed. This makes his days very long.

This means I am pretty much my Mother In Law's caregiver most of the time. She will be 93 years old shortly and it gets harder and harder to leave her at the house. I try to not be resentful but it is difficult. I do not want to complain to my husband because he has a lot on his shoulders.

I tried to get her to move closer for many years but she would not do it. I honestly think she just wants to stay here because of my husband. My husband thinks she can do no wrong and vice versa.

My MIL seems to be oblivious to how things have changed for us since she decided to stay which is frustrating also. I am constantly doing things or finding things.

I don't even want to be in my own house. It doesn't feel like my house. It has been truly tough since my best friend passed away last year. She was my rock and helped me through a lot. Thank you for letting me get my words out.

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