Mother Expresses Silent Anger and Resentment Towards Me!

I am not angry or resentful about caring for my mother. However, Mother seems angry and resentful that I am the one caring for her. Both of my siblings are deceased. Mom had a stroke a year after sister's death, and then my brother passed away a few years ago.

She wants to live on her own, but doesn't need to; her mobility and speech were affected by the stroke-speech more than mobility.

There are a couple of issues which caused two-way hurt between us. I have not been forgiven, and learning how to keep going in spite of it; though it is quite challenging.

As of this day, we have not spoken beyond, "Good Morning" for a few days, and that was from my mouth. I've continued preparing and serving her food and medications. She won't eat until she is really hungry, and even then it's like she would rather anyone else provide this service. She can do other necessary things for herself.

I just never imagined, from the way I grew up in my family, that we would be here. She is cordial with others outside of home; people just love her. Then she goes like a blank screen when it's just the two of us. I've felt unloved, unappreciated, and somewhat used. Sometimes she seems quite aware of what she is/isn't doing which doesn't help matters.

Currently, she is just non responsive. In the past, she has, very clearly, expressed herself, especially when I had my nephew come to "witness" her behavior.
Unfortunately, I have verbally expressed my thoughts while highly emotional.

I'm sad and hurt due to the lack of communication with this person who brought me into the world. I am the youngest offspring.

I think of God loving all the people of the world, and yet there are plenty who reject His love. Jesus was rejected by His own relatives. Who am I? It hurts, nonetheless. I pray to grow through the situation in order to be able to help others who are sure to find themselves on a similar path. I refuse to suffer this hurt in vain!

I've told Mother, she may outlive me as well, I hate to think that the end for one of us would come with this canyon between us.

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I understand....
by: Anonymous

I understand what you mean not letting anger get the best of the situation. I work full time, am married and have my house to keep and feed and I assist my 86 year old mother evenings. My father is more than capable of taking care of himself.

Once again for the umpteenth time she proceeded to feed her dog food I made for her. I like her dog but my money and time is not for feeding a creature perfectly happy eating dog food.

I asked her to just not feed him while I was there but she ignored me again and a unkindly asked her if she were senile. I feel terrible and tried to apologize but she is rightfully angry with me. My mother is not unlike the mother who will not talk to her mother. I think fate will be similar.

I love her so very much but I need to learn to accept what will be and to distance myself from certain things. I am learning and there will not be a repeat of my outburst. Thank you all for letting me write and for understanding

Overcoming the anger
by: Anonymous

My heart goes out to you. My mother is very unstable. I don't know what she will be like when I see her. Hurt, depressed, defiant, needy, drama queen...who knows?

She undoes everything I do for her. I am trying to be loving but a lot of times I just take care of myself by distancing myself emotionally. It takes a lot of restraint not to lash back. I am getting better at it. Try to love back. Say you are sorry she feels ....maybe give her a hug, even if she tries to shrug you off.

Christ may have been rejected even by some of his relatives but he never stopped loving others. I think if we learn that we can say all of our efforts of caring and getting treated badly in return could still be called valuable.

No one can take away the love you have. It does seem very hard to find at times!! Believe me! I am no angel, but I am trying to figure out what I can experience and then let go of. Experiencing the unpleasant things that your mother cannot control. Don't ever be accusing or defensive, that makes it worse.

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