Momma said There would be Days like These!

by Ida
(Little Rock, AK)

Our Mom has Alzheimer's and is in the medium to late stages according to her Doctor. I spend most of my days at her home cooking, cleaning, helping with laundry, doing yard work and taking her shopping and to her Doctor appointments.

I have other siblings that live very near but rarely come to see her or help out when they can. Lately, my mom has been getting vulgar in her language and saying some pretty mean things.

Sometimes its about people we see in the store or sometimes I'm even her target. I know its the disease but it can kind of sting a little.

The other day I came back from shopping to find my sister inside my Moms house,rummaging through things and telling me she is taking these items for herself since she says my Mom can no longer appreciate them. She had my Mom back in her bed and I swear she gave her a sleeping pill or something because Mom did not wake up till much later that afternoon/evening which is uncharacteristic of her sleeping/napping habits.

I was appalled!

She loaded up her vehicle with all kinds of keepsake items she claimed she had given to my parents years ago and said she was taking them.

Now, she just phoned and wants an accounting of all of my Mom's assets and wants to know how much money is being spent each month on Moms' care.

She made it
sound like I was practically living there rent-free- Let me just say I have my own place in town and pay rent every month. I had to take an early retirement (age 55) from my job two years ago when Mom started having problems.

My other sisters and brothers don't want to hear these problems. What can I do . My sister said my Mom's life is over and she shouldn't be alive much longer. That day that she was there taking all of those things my Mom called her a "B" word and told her to "get out of my house".

I swear, it was as if my real Mom was still there (with her mind that is). If you would have asked me years ago that this is how we all would have responded to the call of duty to help take care of my Mom, I would have never guessed that it would be up to just me to handle everything.

Sometimes, I ask myself is it because I am nearby and have no job? Or is it that they wouldn't even take care of her if they had no job or lived a little bit closer. Most of them live close by to begin with.

I'm just troubled by the fact that they all seem perfectly content to leave everything up to me.

Any suggestions on how to better cope with this situation and how to deal with a wild sister?

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Taking care of Mom
by: Cindy

Commenting on the last post - lady who took early retirement.

I am 57, but I could never retire. I could not live.

May I ask how you retired so young?

I would love to be able to take care of my mother, but there is no income coming in, if I don't work my full time job.


Caring for Aging Mother
by: Cindy H. Ft. Worth, TX

My mother lives with me and has early stages of Dementia.

She sits a chair all day while I am at work and does NOTHING.

I am sole housekeeper, cook and laundress.

I have always been a happy, easy going person, but my last five years have been shear stress.

I have no siblings, husband or children to help me, all her sister, save one, are dead, and the surviving one lives 5 hours away.

I have found myself shouting and cursing sometimes at my mother, which just makes it more stressful.

My social life is "nil" and I cannot travel out of town or over night.

Has anyone any suggestions out there?


It's a Journey
by: Anonymous

Do to you being the caregiver,and your life has been put on pulse for the care of your mother,that Sister or anyone wouldn't be able to come and take Anything and have no rights to anything.

I'm a caregiver for my father. My sister's try that to But I took control instantly. Because it not an easy job. So care less if they stay mad, your job is much harder.

by: Anonymous

The only way to deal with people like your sister is to get a lawyer. Sorry to say. Otherwise, she will take stone cold advantage of you. Good luck.

Lawyer time.
by: Leasa

Copy this letter, see a lawyer. Find out what your sister can and cannot do legally. I'm sure she can't steal things from your mom's home.

Get tough.

Your mom is not dead and her home should not be violated like this. See a lawyer to protect your mom if not for yourself. Find out what your rights are.

I feel for you. I know what you are talking about.

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