Mom Tells Me Stories

Mom is 95 and tells me stories that I've never heard before in my entire life. Here's one of them... "When she was boarding in this woman's house, someone broke into her bedroom and stole all of her World War II jewelry."


What does that even mean? What is WW II jewelry???? Never have I heard this story.

She does this all the time now. At first I responded to it with incredulity and questions trying to make sense of it all, but then the story would grow and get even more elaborate!!

When I listen to her tell these stories to other people, they hang on every word. Of course I don't say anything. It doesn't really matter.

She also reconstructs recent events into entirely different scenarios that become gospel truth to her. She tells me stories about family members that have a kernel of truth but become absurdly out of proportion in the retelling.

Sigh.....

Anyone else have this issue?? I'm sure you do !!!

Please tell me how you calm yourself through the moments.

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Wise Woman
by: Anonymous

i have printed this out and keep it handy. Best advice ever!
I wish we could have coffee together!!

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Stories and tolerance
by: Anonymous

Been there, done that. The ONLY thing that saved my sanity was to have a health problem that forced me to put my needs ahead of my mothers - physically, mentally and emotionally.

I felt as if I was throwing a tantrum by daring to do such a thing, but in the course I learned it wasn't as much what my mother said or did that kept me in a state of frustration but, rather, MY responses to her words and actions.

The reality of her becoming a person that offended me to the point of exasperation was basically rooted in my dismay concerning what I fear most for myself - the helplessness that comes with age, especially when your body starts letting you down. It is a frightening, maddening and exasperating feeling.

Recognizing that reality caused me to feel more compassion than resentment towards my aging mother.

With each incident that occurred thereafter, I was able to look at it from an observer's point of view instead of judgmental standpoint. After all, wishing things were different and feeling resentment over it not being what I want it to be only fueled more frustration over something I had no control of, anyway - no matter what.

My 94 year old mother still says and does the things that used to drive me nuts, but now it is my response to those things that has made the difference. She remains the same perfectionist obsessive control freak that she always was, but how I allow myself to respond is more different than it ever was.

I am now a grown woman with a mind all my own. I no longer let her make feel I am a naughty little girl for not being a vision of perfection in her eyes. Instead, I respond to her as I would any one else who is driving me nuts - I allow her to be who/what she always was without expecting any thing more from her. I can't change her now any more than I could when I was 16!

What I CAN control, though, is my personal reaction to whatever she says or does, and I always do so knowing I am my own person with my own important needs and if anything she says or does tries to violate that rule, then I always remind myself of my position in this wretched situation.

Nobody WANTS to become their parents caregiver, but when they must it does not mean they have to give up them self in the process.

This is NOT selfishness; it is common sense and we need to acknowledge compassion for ourselves simultaneously.

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