Mom is making our lives miserable.
My 89 year old mother has mild dementia and arthritis and lives in an assisted living facility. She had me later in life, so I am only 45 and have two young children.
Along with my sister, I have cared for my mother and father (now deceased, who had severe Alzheimer's) for the past nine years, since my daughter was just born. I work full time in a very stressful job (I run the company), and my husband is a workaholic who does not help around the house.
Mom has psycho/social issues and suffers from severe paranoia. She calls the banks all the time and tells them that her daughter is stealing from her. She calls our relatives (who do not live nearby) and tells them how terrible the places are where she lives and how poorly she is being treated (but we have her in some of the best rated places in the country).
She lies to them about what she is doing (she says she does nothing) and the places where she lives - trying to make people feel sorry for her. No place is good enough for her - so we've had to move her seven times in eight years. We fear that they will kick her out of the current facility because she is so much trouble. She is also a hypochondriac (has been since I was a teenager) and a chronically depressed individual (boy writing this makes me sound like it, too!).
Anyway, she calls me multiple times a day, moaning or screaming in pain. Yesterday, it was because she was constipated - she was screaming to go to the hospital. Anything to get meds - she lives for them.
It's so upsetting to my children. She calls early morning on the weekends and my nine year old answers - she moans into the phone and scares my little girl. My mother doesn't like children and doesn't want her grandchildren around. She hid all of their pictures. Sometimes I have to get a babysitter to watch my kids in order to take my mother out to the ice cream parlor, because she doesn't want the kids around.
It is very hurtful - all of the terrible things she is saying about my sister and I to the relatives, neighbors, local businesses - anyone she can find to listen. My brother completely disconnected from the situation - he has not helped in nine years, and hasn't even called in two.
I would love to have some free time for friends, but I find myself to tired and strung out to be great company.