Mom is Gone
I wrote the previous entry titled “Last Christmas With Mom”. Thank you to all who wrote such heart-felt responses. This is the very reason I have turned to this blog over and over through the years. I could not have made it without the camaraderie and support of this diverse group of caregivers.
Christmas Eve mom crossed over. She was 99. I was with her the last 8 years, her sole caretaker. She had a peaceful, quiet passing in her sleep. My brother flew in to be with me.
We were on the death watch together, each of us checking on her, and coming out of her room to say it’s getting close.
Now we’re in the process of paperwork, close-outs, and final preparations for the ending of her stay on earth.
Let me tell you, through all the trials and tribulations of this journey, that I thought would never end, I am now in my peace of a job well done. I did it. Mission accomplished.
This will be my only reward, but I’m discovering that it’s more than enough. This is my personal parade. This is my badge of honor.
For all the years I wanted recognition, wanted to be seen and heard, wanted rescue, I am receiving it all now, not by others, but by me. I’m proud of myself.
I have become this sense of accomplishment. It’s now an integral part of who I am. Well done, I say to me.
In my previous entry, I spoke of my physical ailments and my struggles with that. I’ll have to accept that, just as I did with this sacrifice for mom. I found my way through my journey with mom, and I will find my way through this.
Apparently, I’m stronger than I thought.
All my thanks to those who have written such wonderful words to help me get through.
All my love to those still in the trenches.
I end my journey with the glass half full.
A physical body that feels like it aged overnight, but a spiritual experience of supreme self-satisfaction. I carry that within me for the rest of my life.
I pray that you all can survive your journeys and that when you’re done, you can somehow, in some way finally find peace.