Mom is Driving me Crazy!!!

by EkkieLu
(Michigan)

I promised I would not put my 92 year old mom in a nursing home many years ago. I have sold my condo and bought a house so we could live together. It all sounded fine, until she moved in! She wants everything her way or she calls family and friends to tell them I'm being mean to her! I now have nearly everything I own in the basement because she wanted ALL her furniture and decor on the main floor.

She orders me around like I'm a child (I'm over 60). She pretends to feel I'll every time I want to have dinner or go shopping with friends. I got an alert button for her to wear but she says technology is a farce!

She wants to shop, bank and go to her weekly hair dresser appointment down where she used to live, over an hour away! Again, if I don't give in she starts phoning everyone.

She won't close her bedroom door at night so when she goes to bed at 8 pm she screams at me for any little noise or light turned on. She makes rude comments about everything I do around the house, and criticizes my cleaning and cooking.

Anything of mine on a shelf or table she'll stack on my bedroom dresser when I'm not looking. I can't get her to bathe (she does the duck in the sink and that's all). I cannot get my siblings to help with her.

My sister in law even told me to go on Valium so mom wouldn't upset me so much! She refuses to wear her hearing aids (they make her look old) so

the volume on the TV is cranked up to 55 (I listen at 10 or 11 at most).

She comes across as a sweet little old lady to everyone else but treats me horribly. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, drive her wherever she needs/wants to go but she still calls me lazy and useless on a daily basis!

I have a little yorkie-alpso about 8 lbs. Mom drops her prescription pills all the time cuz she will only use little plastic cups to sort her pills herself instead of letting me do in the divided box container I got her.

I explained that if my puppy eats one she'll die, but mom says I'm overreacting as usual! She never shuts off faucets or lights. She over flows the toilet several times a week and claims it's my crummy plumbing (it's not).

She has arguments with my parrot that generally end up with both of them screaming Shut Up at each other. Parrots ALWAYS get the last word cuz they are mimics!

She keeps dragging her easy chair around my newly refinished hardwood living room floors scratching the crap out of them (this is so she doesn't get a cramp in her neck looking at the tv from just one angle all day). She said if I wasn't so lazy I'd buff them every week!

I can't have friends over any more cuz she plops herself right down in the middle of things and monopolizes the since and criticizes friends for their comments or choices in life.

I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not! My life is he'll and I don't know what to do! Help!!!

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Feb 22, 2019
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I am a member of that club
by: Anonymous

My mom lives with us (she's almost 86) and she treats me , soon to be 59, like I'm 12.
She watches every move I make and wants to know all of my business.
I am very vague in my answers.

If I'm going out she'll want to know where, what did I buy, how much did I spend etc... I refuse to give her specifics.

I have decided to nicely but firmly tell her right out that it's none of her business. I think that's the only thing that'll get the message across.

We have her on a waiting list for the ideal senior apt. but it will be awhile (if it even happens).
I don't think I can survive for years to come.

My health has declined since she's been here, while hers seems to have improved.
It's not nice to say , but every morning when I hear her walker, my heart sinks and I dread another day.

Hang in there. Try to take it one day at a time or else you will end up losing your mind.

Feb 21, 2019
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I am you
by: Bittersweet

EkkieLu, your post could have been written by me. MY mother lived with me for 12 years. A stroke put her in a nursing home about a year and a half ago. You have no idea how happy I am that she is out of my house! I had to tell her:
*Where I was going
*Where I have been
*Who was that on the phone?
*What time am I coming home?
*What's that card you got in the mail? (One time she even opened my mail)
Everyone else thinks she the sweetest thing, but to me she's just nasty. I can never do enough and I can never do it right. My 3 brothers don't even bother with her. I get zero help.
Maybe it's time to look for senior living....you can't go on like this.
I know your pain and I wish you the best.

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