Mom is Draining Me
I have always been close to my Mom. She has had a history of mental illness. She had a rough life with Dad, he had Tourette syndrome and other things going on. Wasn't the best husband or father but has been dead for 32 years.
She has a mental problem and basically thanks to the Doctor's from way back then she is hooked on medications. She has dementia and had a few mental episodes 2 1/2 years ago. My sister took her in and after a few months they knew it wasn't good.
I signed her up to go back to her Senior living situation and about one year later she went back.
Shortly after that she started showing signs of the dementia. Ended up in a psych ward and the hospital. She asked me "what is going to happen to me?". Out of guilt(and love), I took her in.
My husband and I just bought a home in July, she moved in December(two years ago). I know I am bouncing around but that is how my head is right about now. She is healthier than an ox, physically. Nothing wrong. Dr. told her unless she breaks bones or whatever, he didn't need to see her again.
You think that at 85 that would bring a sense of relief or happiness? Not with my Mom. Her nick name should be doom and gloom. Her mental illness/and dementia makes her impossible to reason with. I spend most of my day trying to tell her how lucky she is that she can walk, and doesn't have to go for treatments for
cancer or whatever, and she can still take her own showers and she lived to see her great grandchildren.
But let her have a "panic" attack and you would think the world is coming to an end. All I hear is how this "feeling" is so horrible. I just watched one of my best friends be eaten away from cancer. To include his face. It is hard for me to feel sorry for her.
If I bring up anything like this she tells me her feeling is the worst. I am so tired, no actually I am exhausted. I have always been active. Worked til five years ago, retired in hopes of my husband and I could do our thing. Well no chance. I don't want to put her in a home but I feel like mentally I am really going downhill, physically I look older than she does, in fact at the store the other day someone thought we were sisters.
My brothers and sister watch her when I have something planned which at this point is about 3 days a month. This is so not how I planned my retirement. She is really taking me down so low I don't know if I can continue! I am rambling. Sorry...so, so tired!!!
For people to criticize and tell us, well they took care of you! I say, she had me, and that was her job. Just like I had my son and took care of him. I don't remind him that in a few years he owes me??? What the hell is that?? Good luck to all...we need it!