MOM is Always Angry with Me,

by Judy
(Oakville Ontario)

My dad passed about a year ago. My mom is 86 and has had a rough period of adjustment. I understand that completely. My husband and I try to go up every weekend take her out shopping and for a meal. My husband goes up on Thursday and often takes his mom, they go out for a nice lunch.

Lately at least since Christmas mom has been very angry with me - screaming at me on the phone telling me that if I did not come up for the entire weekend last weekend to talk about my past (divorce, etc) that she was not going to talk to me anymore, that she would leave a letter for me to read at her funeral. She ended up telling me that she was going to report me to CCAC for Elder Abuse.

I have not spoken to mom since that day and it is almost a week and a half. She has called and left messages indicating that she does not know why I am not calling her. And, yet she does know - she has called my cousin telling her that she went too far with her comments - told me that my cousin is a much better daughter to her mom. My brother spoke to mom last weekend and told her she has to stop this and that none of us want to live in the past and that these outbursts have to stop.

Yesterday her message said that I am affecting her health with my behavior and that I need to call her immediately so that we can iron this out.

I know that mom is fine I have spoken to my cousin, my brother and my aunt and mom's helper all have indicated that she is a little stressed but otherwise she is just fine and that I need to take this time to feel better myself. I had been very sick over the Christmas Vacation so was my husband.

Mom is jealous of my in laws both have had strokes and my father-in-law was put on Palliative Care. We live in the same community as they do about 5 minutes away. We live 1 hour and a half away from mom.

I am upset and confused and still not sure how I should handle these outbursts. Any advice for me?

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