Mom is a Slob

by J

My mom is 85 years old and has been a narcissist her entire life. For years prior to her moving in she constantly told me she was going to have to move in with me and I was going to have to take care of her.

I finally relented and allowed her to move in. The complaints began immediately. The stairs in my house were too difficult, she wanted her house back(she rented it out to my daughter and her fiance).

She started screaming at me when I installed satellite TV in her room, accusing me of trying to confine her to her bedroom. She told me to go to hell and "screw you." She then contacted my brother and aunt and told them I was trying to steal her house from her.(her house has been in my name since 2012).

No one else will take her. Not my brother, not my aunt and my sister has nothing to do with her. She spends her days laying on the sofa scrolling on her iPhone.

I come home from work to food all over the living room, cups and glasses on the end tables and magazines scattered all over the floor. I haven't sat in my own living room in 3 months.

She has staked out the living room as her place. She refuses to watch TV in her room. She bathes once a week and has an odor. She sits so much she has sciatica and has to go to physical therapy.

She does do some of her stretches at home, but then returns to sitting for 12 hrs a day. She can't figure out why it isn't getting better. She is very wasteful. Wont eat leftovers. Very critical of my home. And of me.

She listens to my phone conversations and trust to talk to me when I'm on the phone. If people are over for dinner, she talks over everyone. Her retirement is decent(but not enough to pay for assisted living which is what she needs)but she only contributes a small amount to household expenses.

She wants my daughter and her fiance to move out on the spring. She thinks she can go back home. But her house has stairs, just like mine. I'm also seeing signs of dementia. I really believe she needs to be in a senior apartment complex. But she refuses to go.

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been there sorry you and others have this
by: Noelle

Well for instance if your in calif they have pasc and IHSS call social services to get pasc number point is if and when or if you have no money you can put mom in a state owned board and care just as good as the 3500-5000 a month places and if your taking care of mom and she doesn’t have much money YOU can get paided 12.80 an hour for mom’s care

I know this may not be for you but others with no resources have a way out .... check your city and state for programs like calif pasc and to be an IHSS worker....this would be threw the social services or what they use to call welfare... as for you taking care of a messy smelly disrespecting narcissist of a mom sooner or later for your sanity she will need 24/7 care or will break a hip or something.....

let her go home with caregivers
by: Anonymous

My mom is a narcissist too. I get what you're going through. The difference is that I was mom's caregiver in her condo for three years before I quit doing it full-time.

She had two other caregivers for a total of about three weeks after me. It's been two years and she's been in assisted living.

Ended up there because she has long term care insurance that will pay and I can't be her caregiver because I keep getting injured (back fusion, broken knee, separated shoulder.

I'm beginning to thing mom wishes these things on me....) Anyway, my advice: let her go back to her house and let her pay for caregivers. Do the best you can and beyond that let it go.

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