Mom Increasingly Manipulative

by Marie
(North Carolina)

My 86 year old mother has become increasingly manipulative with my brother, sister in law and I, in order to continue to be center of attention. She seemingly makes up or exaggerates her physical ailments, calls us multiple times a day sounding in distress, until one of us goes over to check on her (she lives in a very nice independent living facility with three meals a day provided in a communal dining room setting).

Then we get over to see her (a couple of times a week or more) and she is fine! It has become clear it's just a ruse. She calls all times of day and night, and despite us telling her to not call super early or late, she just does whatever she wants.

If we complain, she dismisses our feelings and says "stop yelling at me" (We are not yelling; we are simply expressing ourselves in an adult way) or she will just change the subject. There is never any concern for us and our families or jobs and other responsibilities; It's just all about her.

We have all now come to resent the behavior and it has caused us much emotional and physical stress to deal with her daily mood swings. Frankly, we wonder if she is experiencing manic depressive issues?

She sees many doctors and specialists but, so far, nothing conclusive has been determined. She seems pretty healthy! Does anyone here have any advice of how we can not go crazy ourselves when dealing with her constant, daily problems?

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