Mom Homeless and Heartbroken

by Heartbroken 4 Mom
(Santa Cruz, CA)

Several years ago when our Mom started showing signs of Alzheimer's I was happily married and raising my children. I regret I was too caught up with working full time and the care of my immediate family to consider what was really going on with my Mom.


My younger siblings who had lived rent free for years with my Mom convinced her to sign over her rights to the home she owned and they in turn sold it right out from under her pocketing the money for themselves!

My Mom's younger sister found her a nice town home in a Senior place and she resided there until it was finally discovered by her older sister (My Aunt) that she wasn't capable of living alone any longer. She was living in filth and was unfortunately already incontinent from advanced Alzheimer's disease. At that time my Aunt placed her into a fairly nice Assisted Living Facility. My marriage was ending and I was in debt up to my eyeballs and forced to care for my children by myself. I was the only child that visited my poor Mom and I grew more and more alarmed each time I saw her as she was obviously shutting down.

The care facility phoned me to say she can no longer stay as she allegedly attacked or was menacing another resident with a pencil in her hand not completely dressed! When I called for a family meeting to discuss Moms dilemma my sisters said put her on a plane to her homeland and let the relatives care for her.

My brother had no use for her either. So I took her in to live with me and my three small children in a 2 bedroom 1 1/2 bath town home.

No one comes to visit us for holidays, birthdays or anything for that matter. Its as if she never existed in their lives. How can grown children be so cruel and indifferent to the person who brought them into this world and cared for them all their life? My Mom is a kind and gentle woman who never asked for anything but don't you think its time these ingrates of mine show some simple act of kindness to this special woman.

While I know its not perfect, I have a caregiver who helps her during the day and I take over on the nights and weekends with the help of my brave children at my side to lift me and Gramma's spirits up when they can.

My question is WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO MY MOM?

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My Moms on the Verge
by: Anonymous

I would love to do what you have done & screw them....my sister is the same way. I live in the next state over and my mother lives in SF. I can't afford to live there and I can't afford to live where I am.

I live check to check with housemates & could not afford to live by myself or with my mother. She is falling on really hard times on medi-cal she has spinal arthritis, heart disease, white matter disease (Alzheimer's type affliction)& the early onset of dementia.

She lives among junkies, pimps & criminals in the worst part of the city. Today she tells me that she realizes her health is really bad after denying it for so long. I feel so helpless I wish I could do something but unfortunately money rules in this country.

She needs 24 hour care but that won't happen. I can't stay with her because she lives in section 8 housing. I feel like I am useless just trying to survive. But chin up you get to be there for her. I would love that chance as the guilt the siblings will feel within their own heart will show them how wrong they were. Good luck to you

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Thanks for a wonderful comment
by: Anonymous

Thank you Renata for the wonderful comments. Its good people like yourself that give me the strength to keep going forward. I Love my Mom and I know I won't have any regrets looking back on these crazy days we are living in right now.

It's hard and sometime I find myself crying alone in the shower since I don't want my kids to see me broken that way. With God on my side I know there is nothing I can't accomplish.
God Bless you and Your Family.

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The Shocking lack of Compassion.
by: Renata

Woman You are blessed. Your children too. I know because blessed people are a blessing to others. Your mom is blessed too because God caused her to have you. If you can get the legal stuff done without changing yourself and your children for the worst then do it. If not, just know that what you and your children have done so far is cause for hope to all of us. You guys make me happy to be human.

About your siblings, "They made their choice". But thankfully you've made yours... Thank you.

A RULE I HAVE: "If they don't care, you're probably better off without their 'help'".

Don't marvel at these heartless people. Continue to be the change you want to see. You Shine!



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You need a Lawyer.
by: Anonymous

Wow. How sad that your mom could deteriorate to that point with no one noticing but an aunt! The one sibling sold her house and since she was in the throes of early Alzheimer’s, that was illegal.

You need to act on your mom's behalf and take her to a lawyer to get her money back. There is no way those people deserve the money from your mother's home. They are terrible people and what you describe is elder abuse. Your mother could use that money toward her care now. Shame on them!

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Dear Heartbroken
by: Anonymous

No They Did NOT! Wow!
I don't know what is going on with your family. I just wanted to write to you so you know you've been heard!

We too have siblings that are not helping or thanking or anything and although I don't understand it their absence is better then their 'helping' for when they do try to 'help' my brother and i get left with the problems created by their well intentioned helping.

Please know that you have been heard and I send you my empathy.
mary santa rosa ca usa

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