Mom Allowing Brother and Nephew to Abuse Me

by Deirdre
(Ireland)

I gave up my job and moved home seven years ago to care for my Mom. My brother was living here at the time but was incapable of taking care of her. Shortly after I moved home Mom had to have two blood transfusions. She would have died had I not been here. Things were going okay until my brother moved his son in without even asking if he could and Mom said nothing, just let him.


He is the youngest and was always spoiled. He does not pay rent even though he is working now. He pays the cable bill and gives me money for groceries. He has destroyed his son, never disciplining him and giving him anything and everything he wants. He has allowed his son to disrespect me, with a "good for you son" attitude every time.

I have been doing all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry for everyone for the past several years. I didn't mind too much, until they stopped even wiping a counter down after themselves.

My brother will do nothing my Mom asks him to do.

He says he will do it and then ignores her. Then recently when I asked my nephew who is now 17 years old would he mind cleaning up if he spilled anything, he spouted a barrage of abuse at me.

When I told me brother to have a word with the little b......, he proceeded to scream abuse at me too and would not let me back in the house. Since then the two of them have been completely ignoring me as if I'm not there and acting like they own the house. My Mom has tried talking to my brother to get him to apologize to no avail.

I have stopped doing anything for the two of them. But I am finding it really hard to live in this atmosphere and I have nowhere else to go. I am sickened by their behaviour, I can't even look at them.

My Mom is 82 and very frail, though her mind is still very sharp. I have asked her to have them move out over their behaviour toward me. But she won't do it. My brother does nothing around the house and now does not even drive her to her appointments, which he used to do.

She says she won't go with him anyway because I won't get in the car with him. I have become very depressed, angry and resentful toward them, but also toward my Mom as I have done everything for her and though she tells everyone she doesn't know what she'd do without me, she will do nothing to help me in this situation.

I am thinking that I will give up caring for her, live here like my brother does and get a job so I can save and get my own place. I will feel terrible for leaving her alone with the two of them, but I can't live like this anymore. I feel so betrayed and abused.

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