Misery of Old Age

I have cared for my mother for years, and at times I resented it, as the years rolled by her health deteriorated more and I started to feel resentful towards my situation, I felt trapped and longed to be free.


Last year she started to complain of pain in her hip and leg, numerous doctors put it down to arthritis told her to take paracetamol for the pain they also gave the impression that she was somewhat of a nuisance.

My mother would cry and became this fragile frightened old woman, the pain left her immobile and she felt trapped, and she felt so ill, no matter how many doctors came to see her, they did nothing and put it down to age.

My mother was ill she would pray to God every night that He would take her in her sleep, but each morning she would wake and face another day of misery.

I felt so helpless didn't know what to do, I wanted to help but there was nothing I could do, each morning she told me that she wished so much to die, I didn't know what to say, I found myself asking God for my mother to have a peaceful ending.

I have written before and that is why I title my story the `misery of old age` because it became abject misery for us both.

Then three weeks ago her leg started to swell, she also was having mental problems having hallucinations and not making much sense at all, she was taken into hospital and was diagnosed with cancer it`s in her bones hence the pain, her lungs and every possibility it`s starting in the brain.

I go and see her everyday, and break my heart the tears just keep flowing, I try so hard not to cry and it`s draining me, but I feel so wretched seeing my mother dying of cancer, all she ever wanted was a peaceful end.

She is 88 years old and prayed so hard but to no avail.

She is starting to lose her mind and thinks that she is somewhere else not in hospital, she knows familiar faces, but today I don`t think she knew who I was, and kept asking were was her daughter.
I hope her ending will be soon, and that she doesn't have to suffer further.

If only she had been diagnosed earlier, maybe she would not have suffered so much pain, I feel terrible that I thought it was arthritis too, and never realized how so very ill she was.

Gloria.

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Leasa
by: Anonymous

Oh Gloria, I feel your pain. I really do. My mom also died of cancer and some days I'm not sure she knew who I was. She too, hallucinated and she stopped recognizing important people in her life all together.

I was with her every day at the hospital and I know what you went through and are going through. I found I had to really get on the doctor to give her all the pain med he could, which he did and that is all you can do, except help keep her clean and as comfortable as possible.

Stay strong, take care of yourself, do what you can and keep talking to them because I believe they can hear and understand even through the confusion. And, don't be afraid to ask for help anywhere you can get it. Leasa

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