Miserable

by lisa
(atlanta)

I am 37 year old single mother of a 9 and 14 year old. I moved in with my dad 5 years ago after my mother passed away (to help him out). He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 1 1/2 yrs ago.


I have a brother who is in his early 60's (yes, 60's) who wants nothing to do with my dad unless it involves money for him. I just don't want to take care of my dad anymore. I am going nuts. It's affecting my health. I am so stressed, depressed, angry, sad, upset, lonely,etc.

My poor girls are scared to death of my dad when he goes on his little fits. He gets angry and violent. I am in search of relief. Should I just put him in a nursing home? I'm beginning to think that would be best for everyone (including him). I can't get him to take his medicine. He falls at least once a week. I'm afraid I'll end up in the looney bin trying to do all this alone, etc. etc.

Does anyone have any advice on financial affairs with this type of situation. I've been to see 3 attorneys and feel like they are all shady. Sorry about the rant. Thanks for letting me vent.

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Local Government Councils have Care Support for Him and YOU!
by: Anonymous

Check your local council, Department of Veteran Affairs if he is eligible, groups you/he have interests in...church, social, sporting,hobby, etc.

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Some suggestions before you go crazy!
by: Teresa

I feel for you Lisa. I might suggest that you get Medicaid/Medicare to come in with a home health agency at least a few times per week and assist with your dad?

When they are at your house, get out and either get a part time job or just go to a park and walk or a mall and movie or a gym to exercise. You have to break free to clear your head. I'm in the same boat and I am beginning to resent being a caregiver.

I have a 12 year old and have a hard enough time with managing her and I let alone a sick frail elderly parent.

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You know the Answer
by: Anonymous

YES, you children are just important, your obligation is to you and them first. Your dad needs help and so do you. You're not a bad person, you are carrying the load alone and no one can do that, & vent away, just don't explode!, LOL.

Laugh at yourself, laugh at him, take the pressure off you. Blessing you all of you.

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Find Your own Home for Your own Family
by: Anonymous

I suggest that you find an appropriate placement for your dad. That's easier said than done and will probably take some time. If the expense of the nursing home requires selling his house, then you will have to find a place to live for you and your girls. It may be smaller, but it will be better. Just try to keep them in the same or better school district.

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