Maternal Cousins & Half Siblings

I am my mom's only child. My mom's sister died last December 30th and as I was handling her estate my mother had a stroke in May, and CHF in October. She is also a diabetic and had two toes amputated in December.

All this has it's own stress, but I don't know what to say to people who tell me I should talk to a social worker, or do things that I have already done to ad nauseum with no results. How do you tell people that they are the ones wasting your time, while I do appreciate the concern, I do not feel like discussing my mother's condition or my own with people who cannot help and who are not even close.

I truly have limited time, and feel they are being nosy, more than concerned. I feel hesitant to be straight rude, but with all that's going on, (wound trying to heal, stent, and hoping for healing with all the doctors' appointments), it is very hard to follow my own thoughts, and what needs to be done, and even harder to find gentle words to carry on a conversation. It adds to the burden as far as I can tell.

The same thing happened when my grandmother was sick and as I was out of town handling my aunt's estate. Nobody else even came to the service, but the people in my aunt's town. The 'helpful' rude suggestions are very disheartening, and more disgusting than just dealing with what is going on. Thanks for taking the time and having a place for me to vent.

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Talk is Cheap
by: Anonymous

Don't answer the phone. These busybodies are useless and are wasting your energy. Sorry you are having to deal with everything on your own, but it's better than having to deal with everything AND having useless siblings who give useless advice.

I am the only daughter out of four able-bodied ones who helps 2 aged parents and 1 quadriplegic sibling. The others are useless, but come to visit once or twice a year. That's more infuriating that doing it on your own, believe me. Only one of my siblings even tries to help with her 4-day, 3 or 4 times per year helping out visits. At least you don't have to deal with that kind of anger.

Hang in there, you can at least tell the busybodies to shut the heck up and go away.

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