Male Sibling Cared for Father With No Help from Brother
Okay, well my poor dad is gone now. Before he left this earth some 15 years prior he had two strokes one after the other.
When he was in hospital I asked them to give him something to dry out as he was an alcoholic living alone. Granted before his strokes neither me nor my brother saw a lot of him because of his bad habits.
Post stroke saw him able to live alone but with carers to help as both me and my brother worked full time. I thought however that we'd made a pact to see him more often.
I kept up my end - my brother did not. I got dad off the booze and helped him with various things for almost 15 years when it got more difficult.
I suggested my dad look at his Will and pointed out a few facts about what I had done for him compared to my brother who was lucky to visit him twice a year for 2 hours each time leaving dirty coffee cups and crumbs behind him (that's just the tip of the iceberg let me tell you).
Couldn't even call dad on his 70th birthday, turning up instead a month later to collect the chocolates dad gave us each year for our own birthdays!
Come the day of the funeral our mother came with me (he doesn't speak with her either - mum and dad divorced almost 20 years prior), he refused to say goodby to dad at the funeral I of course had arranged, while my mother was present.
Post death he thinks I stole more out of dad's unit and bank account than I did because dad left 75% of his Will to me and only 25% to him. Wonder if my brother has ever realised why....thank you dad, the acknowledgement was worth way more than the money.
I'm sorry you had to see your son for what he is rather than what you thought he is. It was damned hard work dealing with my father and at times he called me bossy because I was trying to keep his living conditions as hygienic and livable as possible but I must say as he became sober our relationship was better than it had ever been.
I could go on and on about things that happened but I for one have no regrets.. as for my brother who knows...that's for him to live with. No doubt for sure I will have to care for our mother to in years to come. I'm expecting that much.
I can't deal with a brother who has always been and still is so selfish and so self involved. Thankfully my mother is at least sensible enough to see what he is really like despite the fact that I'm sure as a mother she misses him and is incredibly disappointed by his actions.