Losing the Plot
My family and I (husband and 5 year old) took the decision to move into my 97 year old Grandma's house to care for her and let my mum who was living with my grandma as she got made redundant live at our house.
I made this decision because my grandma although good for her age was falling and not being fully cared for as my mum was working and not the sort of person to be a carer.
Now, when things get too much I am becoming very angry and feel like I am losing my mind and am about to completely snap and have a breakdown. My husband is great and is thoroughly supportive but I feel like we have no life(in my 30s) and it is taking all of my energy and patience to deal with the demands from my grandma and also the attention my 5 year old needs.
I have turned into a raging tearful monster who now finds it incredibly hard to keep my patience some days over the smallest things. I am also having to deal with early onset menopause and hormones flying about all over the place.
I feel guilty because I wanted to do this for my gran who brought me up and is like a mother to me, she took me out of a bad family situation and repaired a lot of damage with her love and I could not stand to see her in a home.
I am angry at my mum who does nothing and my uncle who is good but the help is limited as he lives some distance away. I feel I could lift a car up and throw it through the air such is the strength of my anger at times.
Where is my former patient self who had time for anyone and the patience of a saint gone? I want her back but cannot see a way out.