Losing Mind & Body Health
(Fort Wayne IN)
I moved in with my mother on 2-14-11 to care for her after her husband died. She is 90, has Alzheimer's and this is a 24/7 job.
I am 55 and receive no help from older siblings except for the fact that a brother 3 yrs my senior took mom to an out of town lawyer and had her sign p.o.a. over to him and changed her will.
For the first year he continually degraded me over what I did and how expenses were dealt with.
I am unemployed and have no means of supporting myself due to caring for mom 24/7. I feel drained with the daily dealing of the care I provide but love mom too much to stop.
It is a challenging task to clean her up after accidents, explain to her things such as a mirror, repeating myself two or three times every time something is said, etc...
The problems I find distressing are not the care I am giving but the support from other siblings. I have a $100 child support order every week so my brother decided that $145 should cover any expense I have and that's what mom and I live on, out of her savings.
I have a older sister that also lives close by but neither one visit or try to help and another brother out of state. I have had 1 1/2 days (off) since beginning this task and during this time have watched my brother go to Fla, or races and always come over once a week to gloat on how good he is.
I have tried to take mom to visit at his house but they leave her sit in a room and disappear to do other things. (within minutes)and when he does come over once a week he expects a home cooked meal and complains about the money spent on daily things.
I've become depressed and am watching my health slowly fail as when I try to exercise, do any housecleaning,cook, basically anything, mother gets upset and angry that she can't be involved. I tried to let her help but she hurts herself so I can't let her.
She sits while awake and drifts off, not talking or else shes angry,or sad she can't remember anything like my name,where she is at etc...
I can't see putting her in a home as she would pass quickly and all I want is for her to be happy and comfortable in her remaining time.
I know my relationship with my siblings is beyond repair after mother is gone and can deal with this fact but really am having trouble with the fact that it seems all they are concerned about is the inheritance, which is not that great. Any comments or help would surely make me grateful