Living with Alzheimer's
I might as well finally call it what it is...it's Alzheimer's.
My mom's mind is stuck in tracks of convoluted memory, she forgets what happened last week, yesterday, and a moment ago.
I can no longer have normal conversations with her. I have to repeat everything in twelve different ways just for her to understand what I'm saying, and then she doesn't understand it anyway.
I don't know how to talk to her anymore. The conversation is getting so scarce. Anything I want to share with her, is just so difficult, that I don't even bother.
It's all so exhausting and frustrating and I feel it just drain my energy and it's driving me crazy. I'm living with a crazy person.
It's just her and I living in her home, and even when I tell people how difficult it all is, they just give me sympathy, but they have no idea how isolating it is to not be able to talk to the very person you live with on a day-to-day basis.
Stories she tells me about the family are wrong perceptions, and when I try to tell her different she gets mad and accuses me of being hard-headed or mean or something off the wall.
I keep trying to understand her condition, but I just feel so lonely being in it by myself. If someone else was in the home with us, I could at least have validation for the craziness of it all and it would release the pressure.
Maybe I should go find a support group. Because unless someone is going through this, they really can't understand. The family doesn't even believe me! They only see her periodically and at those times there are so many people in the house that the conversations flow and they are not on a one-on-one basis.
When I try to tell them how it's really going, they think I'm exaggerating because they don't experience it themselves. So it's a double whammy.
Well, thanks for letting me vent. I just have to find a way to let this happen without losing my sanity or my temper.