Live in Caregiver for my Mama

by Ramona
(Hope, Arkansas )

Four and a half years living with my 81 year old handicap right leg amputated above knee. Mama is a type 2 diabetic has bouts w gout. Last July she had surgery femoral artery left leg removal of plaque to restore circulation below her knee. I have to say I was a imaging technologist specializing in Mammography for 35 years. I'm 57.

I lived in Florida my Mama called wanted me to move in with her in Arkansas and take care of her.

My niece lived with Mama and got pregnant 4 times. Moved men in and out like a revolving door. Mama had enough and my niece moved out I moved in. Gave up home job and last summer lost my car that I owed 2000.00 on had to quit my job which really just was to pay car note and insurance.

I was the only one to care for Mama. I have a brother he just talks bad about me drinks and never helps. This past year has been so bad I'm ready to end my life. Since I lost my car I have no friends they won't visit due to my mother being so hateful and rude.

I get the third degree if I ask to use her car which she can't drive anymore. Macular degeneration to point of very poor vision. I have just had an old friend offer me a job and understands how much my Mama is controlling me now that she knows I have no transportation.

I've just been broke down even more didn't think that was possible I'm so low. Mama said u can't take my car to go work Friday. I have my great niece coming to stay while I worked an hour n half away.

I just don't understand how anyone could be so controlling. She's done this all my life. I moved away for years after my daddy passed. Now I'm trapped. Mama has late stage dementia.

It's hard I'm her slave she yells at me never tells me thank you just always has a long list of demands which I do. I'm broken after today's ordeal I had chest pain diarrhea and threw up. I can't stop shaking. I have power of attorney over Mama. I want her to say glad you got a part time job sure take my car. I love you. I could wish for that til I die.

She's always been so hard on me. I'm the only one in our family who went to school and had a career. The others are alcoholics drug users and live on welfare. She tell them all how much she loves them. They don't even come see her only call and tell her upsetting crap.

Then I have to get her blood sugar back under control. I want to die. I was so happy my great niece said she would stay with Mama. The ugliness and hateful way Mama treats me is abuse. I see my life ending soon.

I have 2 beautiful grand childern. I pray the Lord takes away Mama's hateful mean demeanor. Everybody tells me they don't know how I stay with such a mean person. I don't know either.

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by: Ramona

Well I'm sinking lower than ever. I had a job Saturday. My niece was supposed to come stay with my Mom while I worked. I got to jobs it to start work and got a text from my niece she wasn't coming to stay w my mom.

I had to leave and not work to come home so Mama wouldn't be alone. I figure unless elder care contacts me soon I will loose this chance to work. The abuse from Mama from Saturday til tonight has me exhausted.

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