Life’s So Unfair
I am the middle child of three children. I was criticized by mother and treated appallingly by her when I was ill with depression. I was bullied at school, abused by my uncle and my mother and sister did not believe me. I had psychological and sexual harassment in the bank which made me that ill I had to retire from work and have never worked since.
Then I had terrible abuse in a psychiatric hospital, put on horrific drugs for schizophrenia, which I was wrongly diagnosed with. I’ve tried to commit suicide 3 times in my life, I wish I had succeeded sometimes.
Now I am the only one caring for my mother who has dementia. My father died with vascular dementia 6 years ago. I have forgiven my mother for the way she has treated me all my life. Two wrongs don’t make a right and at the end of the day she is still my mother.
I’ve had no support off my family all my life especially my sister. She passes my mothers flat twice a day and never goes to visit her, let alone do anything. I moved in with my mother last year for a month as I felt she needed 24 hour care.
It made me ill I never slept a wink for 2 1/2 weeks. My brother and sister both criticized me for moving in with her without consulting them. My brother lives about 4 hours away. He came up to my mothers to install cameras for my mum and told me to move back home.
My mother went wandering one night and got lost, luckily a nice couple brought her home. Now I’m looking at the cameras 24/7. The last email I had off my sister was very upsetting. She ended by saying that I needed professional help and she couldn’t help me.
I have not replied to that email because it’s a waste of time, she will never understand mental illness.
I just cannot face putting my mother in a home as she is very aggressive. I took her to a home last year and had to bring her home as she physically assaulted several members of staff. The situation is getting worse and I just don’t know what to do.
I can’t carry on like this on my own, I need help. My friends are saying I’m going to end up in a coffin before my mother. Ive suffered with depression and insomnia all my life, it’s so unfair.