Life Definitely Changes
My mom and dad have been married for 69 years. Mom is 87, Dad will be 86 in a couple months.
He's always been the man on the go. He played golf until he couldn't play any longer. Mom has been the stay at home mom, grandmother and great grandmother. Mom had a stroke June 1, 2014 and our life changed
I, the only daughter, am raising my 5 year old granddaughter. My husband works so that we can give our little girl a good life.
Now, the expectations come from all directions, which I always thought I could DO IT ALL...well, I can't. I'm tired, so tired. I'm doing everything with my dad's amazing sweet spirit of love for his bride. He said through tears that he made a commitment years to take care of her and he was going to keep that promise.
My heart melts when I watch her eyes and she's lost somewhere...then she comes back, sweetness then frustration sets in. Dad is like a little puppy, trying to fix her pillow and just please her.
I stay there for hours, letting my granddaughter watch TV, read and we play games. I clean. I recently did a makeover to their bathroom. I still have to tend the garden, harvest and cook for everyone.
Mom's insecurity slips in and she sees this as me not wanting to be with her. I try to balance my days with caring for the young and the older but I feel blessed...but days like today just about wear me out. If I try to get some time apart, I feel guilty.
I was able to take my granddaughter to church with my husband after many weeks of not leaving her side. Again, I felt guilt. I called checking on her after church and there is more guilt distributed...taking my granddaughter to a birthday party has caused mom stress again.
Wanting ALL OF ME. She's becoming jealous of the time I spend in the pool with my grand...I don't know what else to do. I'd love another vacation and sometimes I wonder if I would want to come back....needing prayers†