Kneeling at My Mother’s Feet
Last month I lost the best friend of my life, my 16 year old husky. Ive been taking care of mom for over seven years, and my buddy was the one getting me through it. Now, in my grief of anger and depression, I don’t want to do this anymore. This morning, as mom sat on her bedside commode, I found myself kneeling on the floor, at her feet, changing her pull-up pants thinking, this is all so meaningless.
I lost the one who loved me the most in my entire life, I have a patient partner waiting for me to join her, 300 miles away from here, and here I am on my knees changing underwear on a person who pees and eats and sleeps literally 22 hours a day.
I am living in a limbo waiting for someone to die. Its all so absurd. “Like sand in an hourglass, these are the days of our lives.” Truer words were never spoken.