Keeping it Together...
How am I keeping it together?
I am not a religious person.... more spiritual, and I do pray and ask for help to be a good care giver and to always do the right thing. But I do pray for myself too. I need help and again a friend said "you are the only one that can figure a way out for you and your mom."
I am trying but she hates any kind of change. Be it simple or major life changes. Change is the only thing you can depend on in life. I know that well. I have lived in several large cities and held a few different jobs. Mom needs to relax and accept the changes that are coming. Mom can not afford to live in her home anymore.
I am trying to help out but went belly up financially to move here and due to the fact she lives 20 miles from the city in the woods and the bad economy I have been unable to find enough work. We are just able to pay the bills and that is it.
Any time I mention that I have lost my health insurance and not able to see a doctor she gives me a blank stare as if she has not heard me. She has health care and me of course here caring for her. I am now frightened for my health. The stress of living with her and her constant anger has my blood pressure way high and need to get to a dentist.
My brother is retired and lives with his wife. It would be best for her to spend her remaining days with them. They have each other for support.
I now wake each morning frightened of what the day has to offer. I have power of attorney now and may have to force the issue of a move on mom and my brother. It is time for both of us.
I am headed out for a walk in the woods to try and prepare myself for another day with mom.