Just Want to go.
My father died 14 years ago. My mother has always been a type b personality, so I asked her if she would like me to move in with her and help her.
She was so grateful and it has been most times pretty nice. We get along fine. I pretty much take her everywhere she needs to go. Do the shopping, cleaning, etc. She has never asked me for anything monetarily, but I help when I can.
But at 58 years old I am ready to move on. Sometimes she is so "type B" it is irritating. She will hardly ever ask for anything for herself and wants me to tell her what to watch, how loud I want the music to be, so on and so on.
I was divorced and on my own for 8 years and really enjoyed it. I wish it was like that again.
But, the thought of Mom moving into a care facility because I just don't want to do it any more causes me large amounts of guilt. I actually have the exact opposite problem of a lot of the writers on this forum.
My mother is a sweet caring and giving person. Never demanding or surly. So most of the time I feel like a complete jerk because I think 14 years is enough of my life to give. This might sound stupid, but I am just tired of being depended on.
I want to travel, date, get up when I want and go when I want. I love my mother and would do anything for her, so I will probably continue things just as they are. But I am so grateful to have you all to vent to. Thanks so much!