Just the beginning?
by Ellie
(United States)
Well, currently taking care of 2 bitter, manipulative, lying women who love to play victim.
One of them is my 66 year old alcoholic mother with Alzheimer's. The other is my boyfriends 73 year old grandmother who is walker-bound and constantly falling.
I challenge anyone to find a vacuum that sucks better than these 2 women. They will suck your soul, energy, happiness kindness, patience right out of your body while they have absolutely no energy themselves.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. 3 out of the 4, we have been caregivers. We dropped everything and helped take care of his first grandmother who has now passed. God rest her soul. She was a wonderful person.
Now he is taking care of his other grandmother with no help from his siblings. The only thing they're worried about is their inheritance. It blows my mind the mental gymnastics siblings will do to justify not helping.
My boyfriend and I are currently doing a long distance relationship as his grandmother lives 3 hours away from my parents. I get to see him every 2-3 weeks. While his siblings live 5 minutes away from her, but refuse to go over there. They're just "sooooo busy and stressed" with their own life.
I'm an only child, so no potential help on my side of the family besides
my father who is 65 years old. With how much my mother stresses him out I fear he will soon need care, as well.
I'm wondering if his first grandmother was just the start to all of this. My mother is in bad shape. His grandmother is in bad shape. His father is starting to decline.
My father might follow. Soon enough we'll have our own nursing home. How many people will need caregiving? I'm 26 years old, not married, won't be anytime soon, as we have no time for ourselves.
Kids are out of the question until we are no longer caregivers, which, honestly, who knows when that will be.
I'm sorry for complaining. I'm angry right now and throwing a pity party. I needed to vent. Our future seems bleak at the moment. It feels like we are doomed to be caregivers our whole lives.
It's just going to be one family member after another with no help from extended family. I'm worried this will take it's toll on our in the future. I'm changing into a bitter person and I don't know how to stop.
The only thing that keeps me going is my wonderful father and boyfriend. Which I will always be grateful for. I know it could be worse. Like I said before, just needed to vent a little bit.
Thanks for listening.