She's all mine - my sister and brother want nothing to do with helping her in her care. It's all my responsibility.
My 92 yr old Mother and I have lived together alone since 2005. She has macular degeneration. She's very needy and has no friends or a social life anymore. She's just "TRYING" to get better. She's dying, and not getting any better.
She broke two ribs last Saturday and they just sent her home from the hospital. Oh well, nothing they could do - just wait it out. Meanwhile - she can't get out of the bed on her own to go to the bathroom, so I'm now sleeping in the next bed in her room, so that when she has to get up in the middle of the night or whenever,I help her in.
She's disoriented, confused and out of it. I can't handle this caregiving role. I'm very resentful and angry. I have nothing to look forward to coming home each day. We still have some resources so that an aide comes in between 8:30am and 7:00pm and takes care of her. I'm blessed with having a part-time job to go to,but I have to make sure I'm home by 7:00pm every night. I want to die. Literally end my life. I feel hateful and trapped. My life is over.
How long can this go on, and it's only getting worse. That's about it for now. I'd like to murder my "free" other two siblings for their lack of involvement or concern. I'm furious. They do nothing and just expect me to do it all.
Watching my Mother deteriorate in health - listening to her try to speak but only babble definitely unsettles me. I hate being home. I want her cared for. I'm not the one. I'm detached emotionally from her condition because I despise it. Great sadness. I feel so alone and isolated. Where is there help? Money is so important. I'd like her in a group home I think. I think I heard there were really nice ones. That they won't take all the retirement savings but will take the social monthly as compensation.
Not sure, but it's what I heard. I don't want Medicaid to take it all. It's only about 28,000, but still - rather keep it in the family if I can. I'm done for now....what a terrible, terrible part of life this is. They last so long and for what. They wonder too. What can they do at this stage. They can't see or hear. Feel lousy. Have no friends. No social life. What joy is there for them at 92 when things aren't going well with your overall health? I'm done - thanks for letting me air. Jill